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😉 Greetings to everyone who wandered here in search of funny stories! “Wedding night of newlyweds” – these are two amusing incidents from life. “Remnants of the past” and “Mother-in-law instead of wife.”
Wedding night: two stories
The first story “Remnant of the past”
Parents advised us to rent a hotel room for our wedding night. The hotel is loudly said. On the bed there are government sheets with the stamp “Ministry of Health”, the water in the shower is only cold. And to top it all off – the curtains do not close and a spotlight from a nearby construction site shines through the window.
I stood on a chair and decided to pull the curtain harder. The wife looked from below whether the rings on the cornice were giving in or not. And suddenly the cornice, on the side where the wife was standing, broke off and flew straight into her eye. – I advised.
They took a bottle of champagne from the freezer and, instead of drinking, applied it to the eye. By the morning, the young wife had a hefty bruise on her face. You should have seen the looks the hotel staff threw at us when we returned the key! They say that the wedding night was stormy, he also hung her “lanterns” …
And my mother, when we returned home, understood everything in her own way. She took me aside and quietly said: “Son, I’m sorry to interfere, but these are relics of the past. She may not be a virgin, but this is not a reason to let go of your hands! ”
Let me explain about the cornice, but I feel: I do not believe. And all the others, for some reason, also reacted with suspicion to my explanations. Then we got tired of making excuses. Beloved so to everyone answered: “My husband beat me!”
The second story “Mother-in-law instead of wife”
Before the wedding, relatives began to come to us with Pasha, so there was nowhere to meet and there was no time. At home, everything is packed to capacity, even a cousin from the Urals sleeps in the kitchen, and an aunt from St. Petersburg is in the pantry.
And the next morning after the wedding, we had to go on a trip in a SV carriage. At the wedding dinner, Pasha quietly put his hand on my knee and managed to even get under the wedding dress. We feel – we simply will not live to see the departure of the train, such a desire overwhelmed us! One thought: as soon as they all disappeared somewhere …
Finally we got to my apartment. The relatives began to pack, and there were still several hours before the train left. We were given a place in the parents’ room. All we managed to do was merge into a kiss in the bathroom. Then a tipsy dad began to burst there, I had to interrupt the kiss.
Waiting for everyone to fall asleep, I went out on the balcony to get some air. And suddenly from the room where the newlywed was lying, there was a heart-rending female cry: “Let me go, you bastard !!!” I rushed to scream, and my mother ran out to meet me in a fluttering dressing gown. A frightened Pasha was sitting on the bed.
As it turned out, the half-asleep mom went to the toilet, then, out of habit, turned into her own bedroom. Inflamed Pasha, not understanding, grabbed her in his arms, threw her onto the bed and passionately whispered in his ear: “Finally! I’m going to fuck you to death now! “
We spent the rest of the wedding night at the station. As soon as they entered the compartment, they lowered the curtain, locked themselves and loved each other for almost a day to the sound of the wheels.
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