Divided between the fact of not wanting to create taboo subjects but also to teach him the limits of decorum, parents can easily find themselves in difficulty when faced with the question of modesty. The important thing is to help the child to understand his new body while respecting it.

There are two main types of modesty:

• A so-called physical modesty, that is to say the embarrassment of the child in front of his nudity, that of his brothers and sisters or that of his parents;
• A so-called emotional modesty or feelings, in the face of what he feels and does not want to share with anyone else.

Regarding the most common and the easiest to decipher, that is to say the physical modesty of the child, there are ages and periods during which it appears and grows stronger. Before 2 or 3 years, the baby likes to live naked or naked. Nothing stops him and he very quickly finds himself without a swimsuit on the beach, thus feeling more comfortable. Then, around the age of 4 or 5, the child becomes really sensitive to his environment and notices the differences. Little girls refuse to bathe with their brother and absolutely want to wear a bra on their chest at the beach or at the pool. It is also the age during which the little ones become aware of belonging to a specific gender. They thus become particularly sensitive and interested in the differences between their body and those of their relatives.

When it comes to emotional modesty, on the other hand, it is much much harder to notice, and most parents tend to have the wrong attitude. The sensitive child, for example, will not like at all, that his relatives have fun with his crush on one or one of his classmates. Yet the vast majority of parents find these childish romantic relationships “cute.” This is how they gladly have fun evoking the emerging feelings of their child to their friends, relatives and other family members. These confidences can sometimes hurt the child if he is emotionally modest.

If your child is modest and makes you understand it, it is very important to respect him and be careful not to interfere with him. Beyond the age of 2 or 3 years, and especially if the child is not comfortable, it is advisable to stop taking his bath with him or to bathe all the siblings at the same time. It is now important that everyone gets privacy and time for themselves without sharing it with their brothers and sisters and without being embarrassed by their nudity and that of those close to them.

Do not make fun of your child either if he shows signs of embarrassment or if he asks you for a little privacy. These are very normal choices. It is therefore important here that you respect them and that you make sure that other adults do the same. Also take the time to talk to him to understand what is disturbing him and help him feel better about a situation he fears, such as undressing in a locker room, for example.

Finally, really avoid as much as possible to confront him with the nudity of others. Do not walk around naked and encourage your other children to do the same. Explain that what he is feeling is normal and that he should not feel uncomfortable with his emotions. If he has questions about his own body and that of others, explain it to him in simple words and teach him to discover his anatomy and her nudity in her privacy.

Sometimes this suddenly appearing modesty actually hides the child’s deep shyness. The latter, teased at school or at home, becomes very sensitive to this type of mockery, withdraws into him and isolates himself in a modesty that is not really one. You must therefore be vigilant, as parents, to identify this type of behavior and quickly engage in dialogue. Explain that he can open up and trust you so that you can help him defuse a situation that bothers and / or hurts him.

The modesty of the child is a completely normal phenomenon in its development and its integration into the world of adults. Through dialogue and respect, parents owe it to them to support them and to instill in them the basics of life in society so that they can discover their body in peace and privacy.