Winning the lottery, an inheritance, a booming business… Few of us do not dream of suddenly becoming the owner of a solid fortune. It seems that then many life problems will be solved and we will finally be happy. But, as practice shows, wealth is often destructive.
Sandy Stein worked as a flight attendant for thirty years until, at age 53, she came up with the idea of creating a special key holder that would make it easier to find keys in a lady’s purse. That same year, she bought a luxury car, hired her first employees, and earned $4 million in sales of her invention.
It would seem that the dream came true … But to Sandy’s surprise, all this success for many years became the cause of loneliness. She got divorced. Previously, the husband was the main breadwinner in the family, and the unexpected wealth of his wife caused him annoyance. Relations with friends also became strained: most were jealous and said nasty things to her. Sandy’s entire social circle ended up being limited to a couple of old trusted friends.
When a golden rain falls on someone, it affects every aspect of his life. For some people, this experience becomes quite painful. “Sudden Wealth Syndrome” is causing a deep identity crisis,” says psychologist Stephen Goldbart, who helps his clients overcome the stress of owning millions. In Silicon Valley, a staff of financial psychologists and consultants is working on this task.
According to Steven Goldbart, there are four stages of «sudden wealth syndrome»:
1. Honeymoon
Like passionately in love, suddenly rich people feel invulnerable and powerful. Many of them begin to spend money thoughtlessly, indulging in reckless shopping and making risky investments. Like Francis Fitzgerald’s Gatsby, they are generous and open. This is the most dangerous time, which threatens bankruptcy, as sudden as enrichment. And here it is important to properly dispose of the received treasure and be able to save it.
2. Acceptance of status
At this stage, the desire to set boundaries begins to mix with the feeling of invincibility. Shopping becomes more cautious, and the impulse to make everyone around is gradually extinguished. In relations with the environment, a slight chill of distrust appears.
3. Search for yourself
People finally understand that they are at the top of the social ladder, and at the same time realize that money does not determine their own value. Many feel psychologically isolated from loved ones and friends, indulge in feelings of guilt and experience fear of losing their money. They ask questions: “Who am I? Whom I want to become? What am I worth without my bank account?
4. Stabilization
At this stage, a person has a final realization of what money means in his life and what he is going to do with it. Someone thinks about their own charitable mission.
Many of us have been trying to get rich for years. But if this happens, we are usually not ready for changes in relationships with other people. Suddenly, friends drift away (or, on the contrary, become too intrusive), and relatives who previously did not honor attention, lift up to heaven and begin to show an interest in our finances. Unexpectedly, new members of the family are also announced.
All this is suspicious. “The world is shrinking catastrophically. As a result, wealthy people prefer to communicate with their equals in status, and try to keep their distance from the rest, ”summarizes Steven Goldbart. It seems to you that you are surrounded by an insincere crowd of flatterers who only need your money and opportunities. Each new bad experience leads to even more isolation. As you can see, big money is a test that not everyone can do.