Self-care — why is it dangerous

All week we work at the computer, and then we go to a nightclub to throw out the accumulated emotions. But this is not a vacation, but a change in the type of activity. Again, energy consumption. When resources are finally depleted, we, finding no other way out … go into ourselves.

This form of self-defense can become so appealing over time that we resort to it more and more often, go into a fantasy world where we feel safe. And now we constantly live where we are understood and accepted as we are — in ourselves.

The best sedative

Every person needs to be understood. Retreating into ourselves, we find such a partner and friend — we ourselves become them. This person does not need to explain anything, he likes all our thoughts, tastes, views. He will not criticize us.

Withdrawal into oneself is nothing more than making up for the lack of attention, understanding and love. And the danger is that this deficit imperceptibly develops into a strong psychological defense.

Physically you are present, living, doing everything that is required of you, at home and at work, but internally you withdraw and close. Communication with the outside world becomes minimal, the only person who does not cause irritation and does not force you to hide and defend yourself becomes you.

When the temporary becomes permanent

We all need to recharge and rest from time to time. But when the pace of life accelerates, we are forced to rest even while working and communicating with our family. So we go into automatic mode, there is a feeling that we are both here and not here at the same time.

Our detachment is especially noticeable to those close to us, it is becoming more and more difficult for them to communicate with us, it seems that we have become indifferent, distant, closed, we do not hear anyone and are not interested in anything.

At the same time, we ourselves feel incredible inner comfort: we feel good, calm, we have nothing to strive for and nothing needs to be proven. This is how addiction and dependence on communication with oneself occurs.

The less success in the outside world, the more we withdraw into ourselves.

We do not feel lonely, because we have already become for ourselves those who are able to understand, support, share all painful experiences and show feelings.

So over time, we cease to open up at work and in the family, our strength is fading, there is no replenishment of energy resources. And as resources are exhausted, communication with the outside world is reduced.

And by that time there are enough reasons for this. For example, lack of money, health problems, problems in the family — there are so many of them that you are forced to live in a mode of saving energy and emotions. And we do not notice how the whole life turns into a beautiful dream, in which there is no longer any point in showing feelings, achieving something, fighting for something.

As if we already understood everything about this world and decided to go to a more beautiful one, where there are no problems. In your inner life, you become what you always dreamed of being: loved, in demand, talented.

There are situations when you need to withdraw into yourself in order to recover from severe stress, intense work and other overloads. If this is a short-term «care», then everything is in order. But often this condition turns into a habit, a way of life.

We replace any action with an escape into ourselves. Instead of moving forward, developing, we drive ourselves into a corner of loneliness and unfulfillment. Sooner or later, this «reclusion» leads to a breakdown. A person turns into a neurotic personality, everything irritates him, he goes through even small life tests with great effort.

What to do?

1. Reduce the time you spend on the Internet and watching TV

Living emotions and feelings in virtual life, we stop doing it outside, because of this, reality becomes less and less attractive. We must not forget about the need to be here and now, in the real world.

2. Replace communication with yourself with communication and interaction with others

Meet friends, talk about something real and really important, try to get out of closed mode in any way. Closure is the overlap of energy exchange with others and with the world in general. You react only to your own experiences and at the same time are deaf to the experiences of others.

Sooner or later, your friends will get used to the fact that you are not around, and you will also receive less and less attention and love from them. But we replenish our energy resources with the help of communication as well. And it doesn’t always take a certain person or time to do it.

It is enough to go outside, visit public places, sometimes even non-verbal communication helps to “recharge”. Go to a concert, to the theater, go on a trip — at least around your city.

3. Increase and maintain interest in your life

Often we withdraw into ourselves only because at some point we were disappointed in life and people. Everything that surrounds us no longer seems exciting and interesting to us, we become skeptics. We all know that nothing surprises us anymore.

Such thoughts make you go deep inside yourself, engage in self-digging. But life is full of discoveries, you just need to decide on changes: in yourself, in your routine, environment, interests and habits.

Start doing something that you did not dare to do before, but what you have long dreamed of. Translate your thoughts and desires into action. The main rule of any change is to act.

4. Take care of yourself and your body

To return to real life, first of all, you need to restore the connection between the body and consciousness. When we withdraw into ourselves, we are physically inactive. Therefore, in reality, they are inactive, our entire path is the road from the car to the office chair and back. It is through the body that we feel reality, we feel what is happening to us now, at this moment.

The easiest way to get yourself in motion is general cleaning. Put things in order. This does not require special training. You just need to get up and start. If you’re really having a hard time, take on just one room, or just wash the bathroom sink. When people withdraw into themselves, they take less care of their home and themselves.

Start cooking for yourself only healthy food, look for new recipes. Be sure to go to the gym or to a group workout to physically interact with others. This will help not to get stuck in yourself, to switch to the outside world.

Let other people, feelings, impressions into your world. Believe in yourself and be persistent. Open yourself to this world, and it will become even more interesting and beautiful, because you have joined it.