“I have set up a strict organization! “
Sarah, mother of 2 children aged 1 and 3
“Single for seven months, I am lucky to have been able to keep my accommodation, because my ex left with his new friend. Anyway, even though the apartment was in both of our names, I was the one paying the rent and the bills. Being at RSA, I get organized: every month, I set aside half of what I have for rent, gas bills, home insurance and the children’s canteen. With the rest, I do the shopping, pay for the internet and allow myself leisure activities when possible… I think it’s just an organization to have. Above all, we must not allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the bills. “
“I found a balance. “
Stéphanie, mother of a 4 year old child
“Today, after three years of separation, an organization was set up and I found a balance. Thanks to this strength to try to give the best for my child, I can now say that the life of a solo mom is beautiful! I have had difficult times, which only separated women can understand. We are different in the eyes of friends in a relationship or certain colleagues. The only solution is to find friends who are in the same situation, also single parents. ”
“My sons are my essentials. “
Chrystèle, mother of two boys, 9 and 5 and a half years old
“The hardest part when you’re a solo mom is never being able to lean on someone, even to get some fresh air, or to take a nap… You are solely responsible, 24 hours a day. Since the separation, I was on the bridge to maintain the same standard for my children: a happy life, joyful, full of friends and music. Mission successful! I didn’t make them feel my waves to the soul. Last year my body literally gave up. I was put on sick leave, then gradually resumed work in therapeutic half-time: obligation to take care of myself! The separation brought me slow agony… After a year of lying, I discovered that my ex-husband was having an affair with a co-worker that had lasted since my pregnancy. I filed for divorce and kept the apartment. He had a duplicate of the keys to continue taking the older one to school in the morning. The goal was to keep the father-son bond despite marital turpitude. Financially, I am a little tight. Until September, my ex paid me 24 € per month, then only 600 since he asked for joint custody; that covers the costs of the canteen for the two children. At the office, I did not count my hours, I always honored my files. But obviously, being a single mother, I had to quit my job as soon as they were sick or whatever. At work, little available for political maneuvers, I found myself in a “golden closet”, excluded from certain responsibilities. It’s a shame that, on top of everything else, companies stigmatize us as single mothers, while digital technologies make it possible to work remotely (it is in any case possible in my job). What I am most proud of is the joy of living of my sons, their academic success: they are very balanced and in good health. My educational principles: lots and lots of love… and empowerment. And I have grown a lot, while keeping my childish soul! My sons are my essentials, but my social awareness has increased. I am involved in various associations, and of course, I help as much as possible the people who come to me. So that in the end, I hope, some wisdom wins!