Having received a tempting offer at work, which promised a salary increase and a move to Los Angeles, the 32-year-old writer from Liverpool answered the management … with a refusal. Briton Amy Roberts preferred a less stable, but free life to her career advancement. Is this a smart choice? First person story.
When I turned thirty, I was literally paralyzed by the question that, as it turned out, most women ask: what am I doing with my life? I then was torn between several part-time jobs, unsuccessfully trying to reduce the debit to the credit. So when, a year later, I was offered a well-paid job as a staff writer at an entertainment startup, I jumped at the opportunity, of course.
Then there were nine months with a 60-hour work week and the loss of any semblance of a social life. Then there was a promotion, and the prospect of moving to Los Angeles finally loomed before me. What was my answer? Nervous «thanks, but no.» At that moment, the decision I made scared me, but now I know that it was one of the best in my life.
On paper, the staff writer position I held was a fairy tale. Everything that, in my opinion, a woman in her thirties can dream of. But I had to pay a big price for this place. Working non-stop not only meant giving up my personal life and not being able to spend time with loved ones, but it also took a toll on my physical and mental health. Work tasks became a priority for me: I started skipping my lunch break regularly, waking up in the middle of the night to answer countless emails, and—because I worked remotely—leaving the house less often.
Today, many voluntarily give up a grueling career and prefer a work-life balance.
Society has almost led us to believe that a stable career is the foundation of a successful life. But I didn’t feel successful, I felt driven and out of touch with life. And, ultimately, she refused not only from promotion, but from the position in general. What’s the point of a good salary if it comes with unpaid overtime and not being able to be with your family? I was unhappy, and it helped me understand what I want from life. And there was no job on that list that involved sitting at a laptop 14 hours a day, six days a week.
I decided on a radical change: I started working in a bar part-time. To my great surprise, the choice of part-time work turned out to be an exceptionally right move. Not only does this schedule give me the opportunity to hang out with friends and earn a steady income, it also allows me to pursue my writing ambitions on my own terms. I have free time, I can see my loved ones and pay attention to myself. After talking with several women, I discovered that I was not alone: many today are willingly giving up grueling careers and opting for a work-life balance.
Thirty-year-old Lisa told me she had a nervous breakdown when she landed her dream job after college as an interior consultant. “I went to this for several years, but I had to quit to save myself. Now I get a lot less, but I feel much happier and I can see the people I love.”
Maria, her age, also admits that working conditions do not allow her to pay enough attention to her mental health. “I recently buried my mother: she died of cancer while still young — and I realized that my mental state leaves much to be desired. And that no one will help me but myself. And I decided that I should stop working for a while.”
Having taken a step back in my career, I discovered how much time I have left for my other interests and hobbies. My conscience did not allow me to waste time on them in a past life. The podcast I’ve wanted to do for a long time? It’s already in development. The scenario that’s been spinning around in my head for the past few years? Finally, it takes shape on paper. That ridiculous Britney Spears cover band I dreamed of? Why not!
Having free time frees up a lot of energy to invest in your favorite activities, and this is a big advantage.
A similar discovery was made by 38-year-old Lara. She recalls that she «sought independence in everything: in the way of thinking, activities and the distribution of time.» Lara realized that she would be happier balancing between freelancing and creativity. And she quit her «cool job» as a PR person to live that way. “I can write, I can do podcasts, I can promote in areas that I’m really interested in. I’m finally proud of my work — this was not the case when I worked as a PR woman in the fashion industry.»
Kristina, 28, also turned down a full-time digital marketing job in favor of other projects. “In the 10 months that I left the office, I published a cookbook, started working with Airbnb, and now I make more money working a few hours a day than I do full-time 55 hours a week. Not to mention the fact that I spend more time with my husband. I don’t regret my decision at all!»
Like Christina, I’ve learned that having free time frees up a sea of energy to invest in the things you love—another huge benefit of stepping out of your usual career path. I see my friends when they really need me, and I can chat with my parents at any time, slowly. What I thought was a step back in my career actually helped me move forward.
But I also know that not everyone can afford to go to a part-time job. I do not live in the most expensive city and I rent a cheap (but not very presentable) apartment with a partner. Of course, friends in big cities like New York or London, where the cost of living is higher, can’t give up a career.
Besides, right now I only have to take care of myself and my cat. I doubt that I would talk about freedom of choice with the same confidence and optimism if, for example, I had children. As a woman of modest needs, the money earned from a few hours of work in a bar and freelancing is enough for me, sometimes I even get to treat myself to something. But I will not dissemble: often I myself feel panic, calculating whether I will have enough funds to cover all the expenses next month.
In short, this scenario has its drawbacks. While I’m generally happier and really love my job at the bar, a tiny part of me still dies every time I finish my shift at XNUMX:XNUMX in the morning wiping down a dirty counter, or when a group of drunken guys break into the bar right before closing, demanding more. banquet. A part of me is writhing because I already experienced these disadvantages of working in a bar as a student and now, more than ten years later, I have to deal with them again.
It’s important to pay bills on time, but it’s also important to maintain relationships, follow your desires, and take care of yourself.
However, now I have a different attitude both to the work itself and to the fulfillment of my duties. I have found that I have to be more disciplined and methodical if I want to continue enjoying the benefits of this lifestyle, even though self-discipline is not my strong point. I became more organized and focused, and finally learned to say no to those frenetic night outs I did in college.
I realized that a career is only truly successful if it makes me happy and improves the quality of my life in general. When work becomes more important than my well-being and well-being, I stop living, I just sacrifice myself to promote the company. Yes, it’s important to pay rent and bills on time, but it’s just as important for me to maintain relationships, follow my desires, and take care of myself without feeling guilty about wasting time doing things I’m not getting paid for.
Two years have passed since that hysteria on the eve of the thirtieth birthday. So what am I doing with my life today? I live it. And that’s enough.
Source: Bustle.