A child does not grow into a person by himself, it is the parents who make the child a person. A child is born without the experience of current life, he is almost a pure carrier of information who is just beginning to write down and explain to himself everything that happens around him. And it is the parents of the self who are the first people who are fixed by a small person, and for most people it is their parents who become and remain the most important people for the child for life.
Parents provide the conditions for survival and comfort for the child. Parents introduce the child into the world, explaining to him almost all the rules of this world. Parents teach their child with energy. Parents set the child life guidelines and first goals. Parents become for him a reference group by which he compares his life, and when we grow up, we are still based (or repelled) from the parental experience we have learned. We choose a husband or wife, we raise children, we build our family on the basis of the experience gained with our parents.
Parents forever remain in the mind of the child, and then the adult, in the form of pictures and in the form of behavior patterns. In the form of an attitude, both to oneself and to others, in the form of resentments learned from childhood, fears and habitual helplessness or habitual self-confidence, joy of life and strong-willed behavior.
Parents also teach this. For example, dad taught the child to calmly, without a squeak, meet life’s difficulties. Dad taught him to go to bed and get up on time, do exercises, pour cold water on himself, manage his “I want” and “I don’t want” with the help of “must”. He set an example of how to think through actions and step over the discomfort of new beginnings, to experience the “high” from a job well done, to work every day and be useful. If a child was raised by such a dad, the child is unlikely to have difficulties with motivation and will: the voice of the father will become the inner voice of the child and his motivation.
Parents, literally, become part of the personality and consciousness of a person. In everyday life, we do not always notice this holy trinity in ourselves: “I am Mom and Dad”, but it always lives in us, protecting our integrity and our psychological health.
Yes, parents are different, but whatever they are, it was they who created us the way we grew up, and if we do not respect our parents, we do not respect the product of their creativity — ourselves. When we do not honor our parents properly, we do not honor ourselves in the first place. If we quarrel with our parents, we quarrel, first of all, with ourselves. If we do not give due respect to them, we do not attach importance to ourselves, we do not respect ourselves, we lose our inner dignity.
How to take a step towards intelligent life? You need to understand that in any case, your parents will always be with you. They will live in you, whether you like it or not, and therefore it is better to live with them in love. Love for parents is peace in your soul. Forgive them what needs to be forgiven, and become such or such as your parents dreamed of seeing you.
And it’s probably too late to change your parents. Parents are just people, they are not perfect, they live the way they know how and do what they can. And if they don’t do better, do it yourself. With their help you came into this world, and this world is worth gratitude! Life is worth gratitude, therefore — all the best do it yourself. You can!