Our culture romanticizes infidelity. Hundreds of films are made about them, songs are written. Cheating often appears in them as an unusual vivid sensory experience that it would be foolish to miss. And the bitterness of guilt only sets off the sweet taste of this forbidden fruit. We try not to think about the side effects of external connections, hoping that everything will be kept secret. Blogger Rod Arters explains why cheating is a personal disaster.
According to statistics, men cheat more often than women. Let’s take a look at the points that this error threatens them with.
1. You will receive the official title of Liar. Being a cunning cheater is not very pleasant, but cheating, you are automatically forced to constantly deceive. It all starts with an innocent half-truth «I’ll be late at work today», but quickly turns into a rolling ball of the most sophisticated lies.
2. Everything secret will certainly become clear. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, but sooner or later they will find out about your betrayal. You will be discussed, the details of your novel will be savored in idle conversations. No wonder the Chinese proverb says: «If you don’t want anyone to know about it, don’t do it.»
3. Everyone will be disappointed. Your partner. Your friends. your colleagues. Your parents. Your children. You yourself. General disappointment will haunt you for a long time like a bad smell.
It is difficult to influence others, especially your own children, if they know that you yourself are not a model of virtue.
4. You will lose credibility. It is quite difficult to influence other people, and especially your own children, if they know that you yourself are far from being a model of virtue. Any moral assessment you make will be taken with a sneer. This doesn’t mean you have to go underground, but be prepared to be less listened to.
5. You will lose the trust of your partner and children. You alone will destroy the self-esteem of a person whom you once promised to love all your life. The ghost of your infidelity will haunt them in every new relationship they have. Your children will be shocked: their attitude towards love and marriage will not change for the better. For children, the mutual love of parents is the basis of psychological comfort, and it will be undermined.
6. You will agonizingly dream that everything will be the same as before.. It seemed to you that the grass was greener behind the fence. Actually it was an optical effect. Up close, it’s not so green and juicy. You realize this when you are convicted of treason and the prospect of divorce looms. You will look differently at your lawn — what a pity, now it is scorched and you can’t have a picnic on it. It turns out that the best way to enjoy green grass is to water your own lawn.
Your living conditions will worsen. Most likely, you will have to look for other accommodation. Divide property, pay alimony
7. You will look at life with suspicion and it will be difficult for you to build new relationships. The most suspicious people are liars. As a rule, marriages between former lovers are short-lived. Their romance began with a lie, and they are naturally inclined to suspect each other of treason according to the same scenario.
8. Your living conditions will get worse. Most likely, you will have to look for other accommodation. Divide joint property. Pay monthly maintenance. Lose part of the business after a lawsuit. In the best case, a deceived partner will stop helping you and taking care of you, as he did before.
9. You risk sinking into depression. Most unfaithful spouses, sooner or later, repent of their act. Realization may not come immediately, but a series of losses convinces them that a few minutes of pleasure were not worth the loss of an entire kingdom.
About the Expert: Rod Arters is a coach and blogger about life, faith, hope and love.