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Attacks and violence: what to say to children?
Paris, Nice, London, Barcelona, Las Vegas… Faced with the tragedy of the attacks which follow one another, what to say to our children? How to answer their questions? Small or large, they are necessarily sensitive to the emotional shock that we all undergo when the news of an attack is announced. It is essential to put words together on what has just happened.
Stay factual
For Dana Castro, clinical psychologist, it is important to explain such an event as simply as possible to children, while remaining factual. Parents must put the facts into words, especially if the youngest see the images of the attack on the television news. For older children, parents can say that there are people who have died, that we will no longer see them, but that we will continue to think of them. We can also express our sadness and say that we are touched. Take advantage of the fact that there will be a minute’s silence in honor of the deceased to also say that a whole country is sad. It all depends of course on age and family environment. If parents follow the news, children are used to talking about certain topics with them. And above all, do not forget to reassure the children that mom and dad, even if they work in the same city where the event took place, do not risk anything in public transport for example.
Move the subject to a positive element
If the parents go into details or answer specific questions from the child, Dana Castro advises to explain to him that bad guys are being sued and they are not going to win for what they did. The mother can say “what impressed me the most was the policeman who immediately came to help people”. And take the opportunity to move the topic of conversation on a positive element such as the role of the police. Parents therefore have a major role to play in this type of information processing. For the psychologist, her child should not be specially invited to come and watch the pictures on television. Do not dramatize either, but simply answer questions. Another tip: explain to the older ones that this is not a movie or a video game. And tell them about the investigation over the days, very simply, if the child asks for news. Because he will surely quickly resume his life as a young schoolboy. Let time take its course, as in all mourning.