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Education: different references
You do not both have the same education, the same place in the siblings, the same memories, the same experience. He may have had severe parents. You, on the contrary, may have suffered from cool parents, limit lax.
None of you want to make the same mistakes again. It is therefore quite normal that you have two very different approaches to educating your child; your differences are a treasure. Motivated, full of good will, you both want to make your child’s education a success.
Confront your points of view
Confronting different points of view, even opposing ones on the education of children, will allow you to find together a better solution, nuanced, argued. If on a particular point you cannot reach any compromise, know how to make a concession.
Do not wait for your child to have their first crisis of opposition to confront your points of view. Talking about it among yourselves is a debate that is both necessary and constructive, it helps you get to know each other better and choose a way of doing things that suits you.
Avoid hot explanations, with your little one listening behind the door as the tone rises.
The education of your child is a complex and long-term job, the exchanges of points of view will be legion and deserve that one devotes time to it. They should be done in peace, preferably in the evening when he is sleeping or while he is at the nursery or at his grandmother’s.
In front of the child: a united front
Your baby has ultra-sensitive antennae. No sooner would he feel the slightest hesitation, the outline of a disagreement between you than the child would rush into the breach to get what he wants at the expense of the couple’s serenity. In front of him, only one solution: to show solidarity, no matter what. This implies respecting certain rules of good behavior: absolute prohibition to contradict oneself in front of the child, to allow him what mom / dad has just refused or to question the attitude of the other parent. Even if it costs you, you will have to wait for a later tune-up to change your attitude towards the child.
Try to put things into perspective.
When we talk about children’s education, the tone can rise quickly because it is a subject that is really close to the heart. Avoid taking your partner’s contradictions as personal attacks or criticisms of your qualities as a mother. There are a hundred ways to do this, none of which is ideal. It is up to you to choose your course of action together.
You can, for example, share readings (books, specialist magazines) and then exchange your opinions. Also talk about it with friends (they often ask the same questions, go through or have gone through the same crises) or on one of the many parent forums that can be found on the Net. It can only enrich the debate.
Let go of the details, concentrate on the essentials. Differentiate between the main principles of education, on which you absolutely have to come to an agreement, and the details of daily life about which everyone can do in their own way, without compromising the balance. family education.