Or a cipher. Or a code word. In general, you definitely need to agree on how to exchange messages so that no one else understands them. Let’s explain why now.
Perhaps, among you, dear readers, there are none whose youth was quite violent. However, this is unlikely – well, to be honest. Each of us probably got into situations that we later regretted.
– You haven’t even tasted champagne yet? Wow! Here, drink! – They put a glass in their hands, several pairs of eyes are looking at you expectantly, and it’s already somehow awkward to refuse. You will be known as a black sheep, you will no longer get into the company. There, that and look, they will begin to persecute. And if you bang a glass, they will take it for yours.
This phenomenon is called peer pressure. Hardly any of us managed to avoid it. However, we are able to minimize the possible unpleasant consequences of such pressure on our children. This is what the “X-plan” with a secret code is for.
Imagine: your precious teenager goes out with friends. And here peaceful gatherings are not going according to plan: your child is already uncomfortable, but he cannot escape from the party either – peers will not understand. What to do?
The father of three children, Bert Falcks, came up with a solution and called it the “X-plan.” Its essence is that a child, finding himself in an uncomfortable situation, from which he cannot “merge” without hitting his face in the dirt, simply sends a message with the letter X to his father, mother or older brothers. will understand that it was a SOS signal. Five minutes later, the addressee calls back and acts out a dialogue:
– Hi, I’m sorry to distract you, but here the pipe burst at home / my mother got sick / her beloved hamster was lost / we have a fire. I need you urgently, I’ll stop by in five minutes, get ready.
– Okay, I understand …
A frustrated face, deliberately slow charges with curses against the universe, which is always distracting at the most inopportune moment – and no one will suspect that this just so cheerful dude himself asked his parents to sabotage.
Of course, instead of the letter X, there can be anything. An emoticon, a certain word order, a whole phrase – you decide.
Plan X has two conditions: the parent and the child trust each other – this is the first thing. Secondly, the elders do not ask unnecessary questions. Even if it turns out that the child is not at all there and not with those where he promised to be.
Bert Falcks developed this strategy after visiting drug treatment centers for adolescents several times. He asked all patients the same question: were they faced with a situation that they wanted to avoid, but there was no such opportunity without being ridiculed. Hands raised each and every one. So Bert decided that there was a way to help his own children. While it works.
“It’s such a lifeline that a child can use at any time,” says Falx. – The realization that he can count on my support at any time gives my son a sense of security and confidence – while the outside world tries to subdue him.