PSYchology

It seems that success and self-confidence are inextricably linked. But it is not always the case. Often low self-esteem becomes the reason that makes a person work on himself and achieve more and more new goals. Psychotherapist Jamie Daniel reveals what affects self-esteem.

Problems with self-esteem and self-esteem do not necessarily become an obstacle to success. On the contrary, for many successful people, low self-esteem has given the motivation to «conquer the heights.»

It often seems to us that famous people do not suffer from low self-esteem. In fact, many celebrities, successful businessmen, athletes and politicians suffer from this — or once suffered from it. Looking at their success, huge incomes and fame, it is easy to think that this can only be achieved by being self-confident.

This is not necessarily the case. Of course, these people are persistent, hardworking and motivated. They possessed sufficient intelligence, talent and the necessary skills to reach the top. But at the same time, many of them in the past were tormented by doubts, insecurity, a feeling of their own insignificance. Many had difficult childhoods. Doubt and uncertainty played a significant role in their path to success.

Celebrities who are familiar with such experiences include Oprah Winfrey, John Lennon, Hillary Swank, Russell Brand and Marilyn Monroe. Monroe moved frequently from place to place as a child and lived with different families, and her parents suffered from mental problems. All this did not stop her from making a dizzying career as a model and actress.

5 self-esteem myths that help the insecure succeed

Self-esteem issues can be a powerful source of motivation. A person is constantly trying to prove that he is worth something. He is convinced that the value of a person is determined by its achievements and, most likely, believes in five myths about self-esteem and a sense of one’s own value. Here they are:

1. The right to self-respect must be earned. Your value is determined by what you do, and you will have to work hard to earn the right to respect yourself. If you work little and have few achievements, you have nothing to value yourself for.

2. Self-respect depends on events in the outside world. Its source is good grades, diplomas, career growth, praise, recognition, awards, prestigious positions, etc. You chase achievements to satisfy your need for self-respect.

3. We can only respect and value ourselves if we are better than others. You are constantly competing with others and strive to get ahead of them. It is difficult for you to rejoice at other people’s successes, because you always need to be one step ahead.

4. The right to self-respect must be constantly proven. When the joy of the last achievement begins to fade, the inner uncertainty returns. You need to constantly get recognition in some form to prove your worth. You endlessly pursue success because you are sure that you are not good enough on your own.

5. To respect yourself, you need others to admire you. Love, approval, admiration of others give you a sense of your own worth.

While low self-esteem can be a catalyst for success, there is a price to pay for it. When suffering from self-esteem issues, it is easy to slip into anxiety and depression. If everything seems to be fine in your life, but your heart is heavy, it is important to realize a few simple truths.

1. No need to prove your worth and right to respect. We are all valuable and worthy of respect from birth.

2. External events, victories and defeats do not increase or decrease our value.

3. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and effort. You don’t have to prove your worth, so comparisons are meaningless.

4. You are already good enough. By themselves. Here and now.

5. A psychologist or psychotherapist can help you. Sometimes professional help may be needed to resolve self-esteem issues.

Success does not solve problems with self-esteem and self-esteem

Sometimes what causes the most difficulties turns out to be useful in an unexpected way. The desire to achieve goals, success is commendable. However, do not try to measure your value as a person by this. To live happily and joyfully, it is important to learn to appreciate yourself, regardless of any achievements.

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