Many parents are sure that lisping harms the child — it disrupts his speech development, teaches him to distort words and generally slows down the maturation of the personality. Is it so? Let’s listen to the opinion of a specialist, perinatal psychologist Elena Patrikeyeva.
Baby talk is a language used by parents in many different countries. When talking to children, they involuntarily lengthen vowels, distort sounds (making them more «childish» and less clear), and speech in general becomes more melodious.
Those who speak Russian use diminutive suffixes (button, bottle, bun). And, of course, “lisping” (all sorts of “usi-pusi”, “bibika” and “lyalka”), which is difficult to translate.
This is how most parents talk to their kids. Why and why?
First of all, this is an emotionally colored speech addressed to the baby. She sounds soft and warm. Accompanied by a smile.
This is what we establish contact with the child, soothe him.
So we report that everything is fine, he is welcome here and safe here.
Since ancient times, parents in different cultures have had nursery rhymes in use. And no one had a question, but is it necessary, but is it possible, and is it not harmful to speak and communicate like that with a child. Empirically, people found out that children so calm down, concentrate on an adult, follow with their eyes, and then, a month and a half, give him the first smile. Such language is the absolute norm of communication with babies.
Now we have access to a hitherto unseen amount of information, which inevitably raises anxiety. Because the information is contradictory in places. And at every point of contradiction, you have to make some kind of decision on your own.
And now parents begin to ask questions: is it generally normal that I suddenly fell into childhood on the machine with the birth of my child and began to lisp? What if he grows too soft and pampered because of this? What if the child does not feel like a person? What if, distorting the words, I spoil his articulation?
I will answer briefly. Fine. No. No. No.
And now more.
Character, personality and language
I repeat: such a specific language is needed for emotional communication. And it is a guarantee of the safety of the child, and hence its normal development. Does it affect the formation of character?
Let’s clarify: the basis of character (personality traits and patterns of response to various situations) is laid conditionally up to five years. And babies still have only features of temperament and functioning of the nervous system. And for quite a long time, with our behavior, we only compensate or reinforce precisely these manifestations. Gradually, as the child develops, we, with our reactions to his actions (in combination with his characteristics), begin to shape the character.
Whether a child will develop self-discipline, will structure, etc., depends on how adults support his natural research activity, initiative. Will they help to learn new things or, figuratively speaking, will they hide in a cocoon of parental anxiety.
A gentle babble has nothing to do with it. If you give your child the opportunity to gradually separate from you, to make decisions, to face the consequences of these decisions, you can even call him “bubusechka” until old age.
Further. In modern humanistic society, the attitude towards the child has changed. We try to treat children as individuals from birth. But let’s figure out what it is.
This primarily means: “I respect your needs and feelings, baby, and I realize that you are not my property. I understand that you may have your own opinion, your own interests and tastes different from mine. You, like any person, need respect for your boundaries and security. You don’t want to be yelled at, beaten or insulted. But at the same time, you are tiny and just born. And one of your needs is a warm emotional connection with me, your parent. And lisping perfectly satisfies this need.
Respect is great. Extremes in anything — no.
3D
As for articulation. Human speech develops by imitation, it’s true. That is why 2D cartoons have a bad effect on the development of speech (in cases where, apart from them, the child has no other role models).
Need a 3D model. To make it clear and clearly visible exactly how the lips and tongue move. At first, the child will only absorb these sounds and pictures, and cooing (the first “speech”) will be issued only by 2-4 months. Babbling words will appear by 7-8 months.
And even when you distort the word itself, the child reads how you articulate (sees how you fold your lips, where you put your tongue), and will continue to imitate you.
In addition, from a certain age — in fact, from the age of a couple of months — he will already be able to concentrate quite well on speech between adults, between parents and other children. And your lisping, and conversations just around him — this is the fertile environment in which speech is formed in the future.
When will lisping normally go away? Here is such an exaggerated by the year usually goes away by itself. But even if after a year the “childish” language does not go away, do not rush to hang labels and make diagnoses. One «symptom» should not be used to conclude what is happening with the process of separation or boundaries in the family.
Is there an age when it’s time to stop kissing boys? Show affection? Tenderness and warmth do not exclude healthy and adequate boundaries. In a word, do not be afraid to “overlove” your kids.