Children learn that the world is cruel and unfair when they get into the yard. The first test on the way of a child is a playground, where there are other kids. While mom cheerfully chirps with her friends, discussing Yulia Baranovskaya’s new hairstyle, serious passions flare up between the children. Sandbox games often end in a serious battle for a shovel and a bucket.
In the apartment, the baby always feels protected. And now this domestic child in an ironed dress and with huge bows goes out into the yard. Not empty-handed, of course. The best toys are neatly packed into a beautiful backpack. Here you will find new molds for sand, your favorite doll with crimson hair, and a teddy bear – a gift from your grandmother. After 30 minutes, the girl is in tears. The neighbor boy threw the molds into the dense bush, the doll’s dress was torn, and the bear was left without a paw. Mom threatens to take the bully to the police, grandmother promises to buy a new toy. A week later, the same story happens. Why do such childish passions flare up in the sandbox? How should parents react when toys are taken away from their beloved child? There are mothers who are ready to rush to protect the child at the first call, others demonstrate complete indifference to children’s showdowns, and there are those who still say: “Deal with yourself. Stop whining! ” Who is right?
– Children get their first communication experience in the sandbox. How comfortable a child will be in adulthood depends largely on outdoor games. Kids behave and feel differently on the playground. Parents play an important role here, their personal qualities, value systems and skills that they were able to pass on to their son or daughter. Also, the age characteristics of children cannot be discounted.
If you observe the children playing in the sandbox, you will notice that more often it is the very kids who are drawn to all the toys that interest them, not dividing them into theirs or others. This feature is typical, as a rule, for children aged 1,5 to 2,5 years.
The craving for new toys, especially the sandbox neighbor, is very strong in children of this age. Kids try a lot by touch, and their interest can be aroused both by their favorite bright spatula with a bucket, and by other children. And this is expressed is not always safe. It is important to understand that at this age, the child, as a rule, has not yet formed the ability to distinguish between his own and other people’s things. And the task of parents is to treat with understanding the peculiarities of this age.
It is necessary to teach the child to interact with other children, teaching the rules of communication. Here joint games come to the rescue. Let’s say building a beautiful sand castle that requires molds for the entire yard. In cases where a child is too actively interested in others, harming them, then before going out into the world such a baby needs to learn good manners at home with adults. If the family has pets, you should also very carefully monitor the baby so that she does not offend her four-legged friend in her attempts to study. It is necessary to show the child how to touch the animal, how to play with it.
Children up to three years old are very tactile (kinesthetic). At the same time, due to the peculiarities of their age, they do not yet manage their emotions and motor skills well enough. And it is advisable to start learning to touch as early as possible, at home, before the child leaves the sandbox. It is in the family that the toddler gets the basic ideas about the world around him.
By the age of three, the child has a feeling of his own toys. The kid actively begins to defend his interests in the sandbox. At this age, it is important to teach the child to delicately respect their own and others’ boundaries. You shouldn’t be forced to share toys if your child doesn’t want to. Children can place great importance on personal things. An ordinary teddy bear seems to be a real friend to whom the baby tells the most intimate secrets.
At the same time, it is helpful to teach the child to share toys and to teach them to play together with other children. For example, having played enough of his own car, your son is attracted by the bright cars of other boys. Having noticed this, depending on the situation, you can advise the child to approach other children and invite them to exchange toys for a while or play together.
In cases where your child asks another for a toy, and he does not want to share it, it will be good to indicate that this is another child’s toy and it is important to respectfully treat other people’s desires. Or say, “Sometimes other children just like you want to play with their toy.” You can also invite your child to ask him to play with the desired toy later, when the owner has enough of it. Or involve children in a joint game in which both of them will be interested. The most important thing is that everything happens in a fun and conflict-free manner. You can’t cope here without parents.
It is worth considering the features of the playground. All children are different, and the attitude towards toys is different. Some of the children were taught to handle them carefully, some were not. And for very little ones there is not much difference between their own and others’ toys. You should not take your favorite doll to the sandbox. It is better to pick up interesting toys that you do not mind sharing.
Should we interfere in children’s conflicts, should we let the children cope on their own? And if you interfere, then to what extent and in what situations? There are a lot of conflicting opinions on these issues, both by parents and specialists working with children.
Boris Sednev believes that it is the parents who provide the basic necessary knowledge. Mainly through the parents, the child learns how to react to any situation on the playground. One of the tasks of mums and dads is to instill the values necessary for life. But it is worth interfering with the activities of the child on the playground only as a last resort. There is no need to limit every step of the crumbs. You should observe the baby’s play and, if necessary, prompt him how to behave correctly. At the same time, it is better to strive to calmly resolve various conflicts. It is your attitude to situations that will become the right tool that will help your child in the future.
Medical psychologist Elena Nikolaeva advises parents to intervene in conflicts between children, and not sit on the sidelines. “Firstly, you must support your baby by voicing his feelings:“ Do you want to play with the toy car yourself and do you want it to stay with you? ”Says Elena. – Further, you can explain that another child liked his toy, and invite the children to exchange them for a while. If the child does not agree, despite all efforts, do not force, because this is his right! You can say to another kid: “Sorry, but Vanechka wants to play with his toy car himself.” If this does not help, try to captivate them with some other game or separate them in different directions. In a situation where the mother of another child is nearby and does not interfere with what is happening, ignores, act in the same way, without entering into a dialogue with her. After all, parents are engaged in upbringing, and by your actions you help your child, without violating the rights of someone else. “