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The whims and stubbornness of children 2-3 years old, how to deal with them
Sooner or later it happens: one fine morning, instead of a sweet tender child, a stubborn devil wakes up. Someone advises to show the baby to a psychologist, someone – to survive the next age crisis. So who’s right?
It turns out that many children’s antics are completely normal, although they terribly enrage adults. We have collected eight of the most common examples. Check: if your child gives out something like that, then you need to either correct your own behavior, or just breathe in, count to ten and exhale. You will be saved only by calmness, as Carlson bequeathed.
“Do you want to eat?” – “No”. “Shall we go for a walk?” – “No”. “Maybe let’s play? Sleep? Shall we draw? Let’s read a book? ” – “No, no and no again.” The kid suddenly turns into a person no. And how to please him is unclear.
What happened?
As a rule, the period of denial shows that the child begins to show his “I”. This is typical for children aged 2,5 to 3 years. Then they realize their own individuality and try to win their place in the family.
What to do?
Do not try to suppress the “rebellious spirit” of the child, rather give him the opportunity to make decisions. For example, let him choose what to wear to kindergarten. Then the child will begin to trust you more and become more self-confident.
2. Asks the same thing over and over again
One mother once decided to count how many times her baby would say the word “why” in a day. I bought a clicker and each time I pressed the button when it gave another question. Happened 115 times. You, too, are familiar with the situation when a child endlessly asks the same question and each time demands your answer or reaction? This behavior can drive even the most patient parents crazy. And try not to answer! The scandal cannot be avoided.
What happened?
Repetition is the best way to remember when a given word is used and how its meaning changes depending on the situation. In addition, this is how the child exercises with intonation and sounds in pronunciation.
What to do?
Remember the proverb “Repetition is the mother of learning”, be patient and talk to your child a little more. Sooner or later, this period will pass, and your negative reaction in the future can create problems.
3. Wakes up often at night
Does your child adhere to the regime impeccably, but suddenly starts waking up at three in the morning with tears? Brace yourself, this phenomenon can be delayed.
What happened?
Sleep disorders are usually associated with emotions or information received during the day. If the child does not want to sleep, it means that in the evening he experienced some kind of emotional outburst. Learning new skills can also cause overexcitement.
What to do?
To begin with, transfer all the child’s activities to the first half of the day. And if he still does not sleep at night, then do not go crazy. Just spend some time with him. The excitement will pass, and the child will go to sleep.
4. Refuses to obey at the most inopportune moment
There are no suitable moments for a scandal at all. But sometimes things are especially bad. For example, you need to take your child to kindergarten and rush to work. But he categorically disagrees with this. Instead of quietly gathering, he throws breakfast, screams, runs around the house and does not want to brush his teeth. Not the best time for drama, right?
What happened?
According to psychologist John Gottman, pampering children is their call to play. For kids, play is the main way of learning about the world. So, if in the morning he woke up full of energy and does not want to do everything according to plan, then do not blame him. After all, the plans were made by you, not he.
What to do?
Adjust your schedule. You may need to get up early to play with your child. If this decision does not suit you, then set aside at least 15-20 minutes for your baby to play in the morning.
Today you did not allow your child to watch cartoons, he started screaming and crying, so you also punished him for bad behavior. Or, for example, they gave porridge for breakfast, and he, it turns out, wanted pasta.
What happened?
Remember, maybe yesterday the kid watched cartoons for three hours, because you needed time? Or have you always resignedly agreed to cook something else? Children always remember the rules of the game, especially the one that interested them. So they get frustrated and don’t understand when the rules change dramatically.
What to do?
When it comes to constraints, include logic. If today it is impossible, then tomorrow it is impossible, and always it is impossible. And if you can, you will have to make an effort on yourself, or change “yes” to “no” gradually.
A classic case: a toddler throws a pacifier on the floor and cries until he gets it back. And this is repeated more than once. And not two. Rather dozens!
What happened?
First, children are prone to impulsive behavior. They cannot control themselves as we do – their brains are not fully developed yet. Secondly, throwing objects is a good skill that children should practice. With it, they develop fine motor skills and coordination between hands and eyes. Thirdly, when a child drops something, he studies causality (if you drop it, it will fall).
What to do?
Try to explain which things can and should not be dropped. Children are quite capable of assimilating this information as early as two years old.
At first, the child pleases with a good appetite, and then suddenly begins to leave food on the plate, and his favorite dishes no longer attract him.
What happened?
Pediatricians identify several reasons for loss of appetite: fatigue, teething, or just a desire to play. In addition, changes in the diet can affect the tastes of the baby. Children are conservative in their food and new foods can scare them.
What to do?
Don’t force your child to eat if they don’t want to. By the age of two, they are already learning to understand when they are full or want to eat. It is better to introduce the baby to new products gradually, so that he has time to get used to them.
A sudden hysteria is a parent’s worst nightmare. At first, children cry to get what they want, but then they just lose control. It’s even worse if all this is happening in a public place, and the child is almost impossible to calm down.
What happened?
The reasons for the hysteria run deeper than it seems. The kid is tired or emotionally overwhelmed, or maybe hungry, plus you have not yet given him what he wants. An adult can cope with his emotions, but the nervous system of children is not yet developed. Therefore, even minor stress can turn into a tragedy.
What to do?
When it comes to hysterics, trying to talk to the child or switch his attention is already useless. Better to wait and let him calm down, but not make concessions. And what eminent psychologists think about this, you can read HERE.
A group of American scientists conducted a study and found that reading aloud has an impact on the emotional state of children. As it turns out, the processes in the brain that occur when a child listens to stories is closely related to his ability to control emotions. Therefore, children whose parents read aloud to them become less aggressive.