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«Hey! How are you? — Good. And you have? — Nothing too». To many, such verbal ping-pong seems superficial and strained, it seems to be resorted to only if there is nothing more to talk about. But psychologists believe that small talk has its advantages.
This could be the start of a good friendship
The habit of colleagues discussing plans for the weekend in the office and long exchange of pleasantries at a meeting can be annoying. “What a bunch of talkers,” we think. However, it is often easy communication that brings us together at first, says psychologist Bernardo Carducci from Indiana University (USA).
“All great love stories and all great business partnerships started this way,” he explains. “The secret is that during an insignificant, at first glance, conversation, we do not just exchange information, but look at each other, evaluate the body language, rhythm and communication style of the interlocutor.”
According to the expert, in this way we — consciously or not — are looking closely at the interlocutor, probing the ground. «Our» is a person or not? Does it make sense to continue a relationship with him?
It’s good for health
Deep, sincere communication is one of the main joys of life. A heart-to-heart conversation with loved ones inspires us and supports us in difficult times. But sometimes it’s good to feel good about having a quick word with a housemate while you’re in the elevator.
All great love stories and fruitful business partnerships started with “weather” conversations.
Psychologist Elizabeth Dunn from the University of British Columbia (Canada) conducted an experiment with two groups of volunteers who were supposed to spend some time in a bar. Participants from the first group had to strike up a conversation with a bartender, and participants from the second group just had to drink beer and do what they were interested in. The results showed that in the first group there were more of those who had a better mood after visiting the bar.
Elizabeth Dunn’s observations resonate with the research of psychologist Andrew Steptoe, who found that a lack of communication in adulthood increases the risk of death. And for those who regularly go to church and interest clubs, actively participate in public life, this risk, on the contrary, is reduced.
It makes us consider others
According to Elizabeth Dunn, those who regularly enter into conversations with strangers or unfamiliar people are generally more responsive and friendly. They feel their connection with others and are always ready to help, show participation. Bernardo Carducci adds that it is precisely such, at first glance, meaningless conversations that contribute to the growth of trust in society.
“Small talk is the cornerstone of politeness,” he explains. “When you enter into a conversation, you become less of a stranger to each other.”
It helps at work
“The ability to initiate communication is valued in a professional environment,” says Roberto Carducci. The warm-up before serious negotiations demonstrates to the interlocutors our good will, disposition and willingness to cooperate.
The ability to initiate communication is valued in a professional environment
An informal tone doesn’t mean you’re flippant, says Debra Fine, business consultant and author of The Great Art of Small Conversations.
“You can win a contract, give a presentation, sell mobile apps, but until you learn how to take advantage of easy conversation, you won’t build good professional friendships,” she warns. “Other things being equal, we prefer to do business with those we like.”