Could the selfie craze harm our children? Why is the so-called «selfie syndrome» dangerous? Publicist Michel Borba is convinced that society’s obsession with self-photography can have the most unexpected consequences for the new generation.
A couple of years ago, a fake article appeared on the Internet and instantly became viral that the real-life and authoritative American Psychological Association (APA) added to its classification the diagnosis «selfitis» — «an obsessive-compulsive desire to take pictures of oneself and post these pictures on social media. The article then discussed in a humorous way the different stages of «selfitis»: «borderline», «acute» and «chronic»1.
The popularity of «utkis» about «selfitis» clearly recorded the public’s concern about the mania of self-photography. Today, modern psychologists already use the concept of «selfie syndrome» in their practice. Psychologist Michel Borba believes that the cause of this syndrome, or the insistence on recognition through photographs posted on the Web, is primarily a focus on oneself and ignoring the needs of others.
“The child is constantly praised, he gets hung up on himself and forgets that there are other people in the world,” says Michel Borba. – In addition, modern children are more and more dependent on their parents. We control every minute of their time, and yet we don’t teach them the skills they need to grow up.»
Self-absorption is fertile ground for narcissism, which kills empathy. Empathy is shared emotion, it is “we” and not just “I”. Michel Borba proposes to correct our understanding of children’s success, not reducing it to high scores in exams. Equally valuable is the child’s ability to feel deeply.
Classical literature not only increases the intellectual abilities of the child, but also teaches him empathy, kindness and decency.
Since the “selfie syndrome” realizes a hypertrophied need for recognition and approval of others, it is necessary to teach him to realize his own value and cope with life’s problems. Psychological advice to praise the child for any reason, which entered popular culture in the 80s, led to the emergence of a whole generation with inflated egos and inflated demands.
“Parents by all means should encourage the child’s ability to dialogue,” writes Michel Borba. “And a compromise can be found: in the end, children can communicate with each other in FaceTime or Skype.”
What can help develop empathy? For example, playing chess, reading the classics, watching movies, relaxing. Chess develops strategic thinking, again distracting from thoughts about one’s own person.
Psychologists David Kidd and Emanuele Castano of the New School for Social Research in New York2 conducted a study on the impact of reading on social skills. It showed that classic novels such as To Kill a Mockingbird not only increase a child’s intellectual abilities, but also teach him kindness and decency. However, in order to understand other people and read their emotions, books alone are not enough, you need the experience of live communication.
If a teenager spends on average up to 7,5 hours a day with gadgets, and a younger student — 6 hours (here Michel Borba refers to the data of the American company Common Sense Media3), he has practically no opportunities to communicate with someone “live”, and not in a chat.
1 B. Michele «UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World», Simon and Schuster, 2016.
2 K. David, E. Castano «Reading Literary Fiction Improves Theory of Mind», Science, 2013, № 342.
3 «The Common Sense Census: Media Use by Tweens and Teens» (Common Sense Inc, 2015).