Four Practices to Help You Release Fear and Anxiety

How can we live in a world where evil can hide under the guise of an inconspicuous neighbor, where clubs, theaters and even schools have ceased to be safe venues?

British Psychologies columnist Chris Connors grew up in Belfast, one of the most dangerous cities in terms of terrorist threat. He knows firsthand what it is like to live “on a volcano” for years, waiting for the next eruption. Four practices help him cope with constant fear.

Finding freedom and peace in chaos itself

I was six when I realized that my life was in constant danger. I was returning home from school alone. A jeep slowed down nearby, two people in camouflage with weapons in their hands were sitting in it. They aimed straight at me. Then the jeep took off and sped away. I remember how my breath caught, although I did not fully understand what had happened. But on that day, fear, like a virus, entered my bloodstream.

It was in North Belfast in 1980. I grew up watching the panic and horror that engulfed city blocks from time to time. I recognized the specific smell that hovered in the air after the explosion of the bombs. I heard the hum of helicopters in the night sky. The streets of Belfast that you saw on TV in the news were the places where I played, I went to school along them. It was my life, my home is a territory of fear.

Do you know the fear of a terrorist attack? Did you feel this anxiety? Have you ever been wary of looking at others on a train or plane? Shortly after the attacks in Paris, a friend of mine from London, working late, heard loud bangs in the street. In a panic, she jumped out of the building … It turned out that someone was just having fun, setting off fireworks.

Living in an atmosphere of fear is bad for our mental health. A recent study of 17 adults by Jerusalem-based neuroscientist Hermona Sorek found that terrorism-induced anxiety increased the risk of heart attacks and stroke.

The chances that you will encounter a terrorist attack are statistically very small. On the other hand, the chances that you will develop chronic anxiety by watching tragic events around the world, on the contrary, are great.

What can be done about it? I’ve been looking for an answer all my life. 17 years ago, I discovered the power of meditation and with it, the freedom to live in peace in the world, no matter how terrible it may be. My path required a lot of inner work, risk taking and strict self-discipline. I had to face the boundless horror at the age of 25, when my mother was dying in my arms. It turned out that I’m not afraid of death, no — I’m afraid of suffering. And anxiety is just endless suffering. And I tried to find freedom and peace in the chaos itself, and not outside of it. This search has defined my whole life.

1. Learn to distinguish between fear and anxiety

Fear is an emotional state caused by an immediate threat we are facing. Anxiety is associated with the threat that exists in our imagination. These are fundamentally different concepts.

See fear as a positive instinctive response that helps you avoid danger. It is associated with excitatory processes in the sympathetic nervous system (the «fight or flight» response). It permeates our being and spills out.

It is more of an experience full of deep meaning than a clear program of what to avoid. Fear can be closely related to elation — take roller coaster rides or skydiving, for example.

Anxiety is a product of a TV show that we ourselves produce and direct in our heads, using vast stocks of images gleaned from various sources. It is in our power to change the picture on the internal screen, but to “change the channel” requires a certain self-discipline.

According to statistics, the probability of dying from a heart attack is 35 times greater than dying at the hands of terrorists. Maybe we should still focus on what really threatens us?

2. Be the master of your thoughts

Meditation helped me understand that if we are not fully present in the present moment, here and now, then fictional images arise in our minds, which we perceive as real. When we sit staring at one point and worry about the recent terrorist attack, our mind is completely absorbed in these disturbing visions. But what happens in reality? We just sit in our favorite chair, staring up at the ceiling.

Realizing that we ourselves created these images, based on the frames we saw, we finally understand that we have a choice. Ask yourself: do these pictures relate to my reality? Probably not. Are they helping me in any way? Probably not either.

This is why anxiety has no place in the present moment: it has no place for the imaginary. What matters is what we see with our own eyes, even if it’s just the white ceiling of our room.

A little practical advice. If you are experiencing severe stress, focus on some object in front of your eyes. Take 10 breaths. Relax. Just consider this object: what is its shape, color, what it is made of. Now come back to yourself. How are you feeling?

The exercise seems too simple and banal, but it is a very effective meditation.

3. Meditate daily

It doesn’t matter which direction and approach you choose. You can contemplate the sky or sit on a rug in the lotus position, or you can find a professional instructor or sign up for courses. The main thing to consider is two things: you need to monitor your breathing and fix the thoughts that appear without any judgment.

4. Celebrate a new day

Our brain sensitively registers everything that we do from the moment we wake up. If the first thing we do is grab a smartphone or bury ourselves in the news, the level of anxiety increases. Leave your smartphone overnight in another room rather than next to you in the bedroom.

When you wake up, try to meditate for at least 10 minutes.

As you tune in to the day ahead, turn on the music, not the news. You will still have a whole day for news and conversations.

While taking a shower, think about what you can say “thank you” for in life. It will bring you back to what is really important to you.