Our taboo questions about pregnancy

Why do I feel so bad when objectively everything is fine?

We thought we had nine happy months ahead of us! And yet, our credo is rather “every day suffices its trouble”. Anxious, tired, weary, we can often feel guilty about not feeling like a cloud. Hormones play an important role in this temporary depression, especially the first months, when you have all the discomforts associated with pregnancy (nausea, anxiety, fatigue) without having the benefits. When pregnancy advances, it is often the body that causes pain. The baby is growing and we have the impression of no longer having a place for ourselves. We feel HUGE, heavy, to the point of regretting being pregnant. With increased guilt. This is perfectly normal. This is the lot of many pregnant women who, if they did talk about it, would realize that it is one of the widely shared concerns of pregnancy.

Becoming a mother, a great upheaval

The psychological factor also plays a role. It is no small thing to expect a child. This particular state of a woman’s life can awaken or give rise to all kinds of anxiety. All pregnant women are crossed by intense emotions related to their personal history. “Pregnancy is a period of exaggerated conflictuality, a maturation and psychic crisis”, writes the psychoanalyst Monique Bydlowski in her work “Je rêve un enfant”.

Beware of depression

On the other hand, we do not let this transient state set in, a pregnant woman should not feel continually depressed. If this is the case, it is best to discuss it with our doctor. Moms-to-be too can experience depression. The 4th month interview conducted by a midwife is an opportunity to discuss her difficulties. We can thus be oriented towards psychological support.

I smoke a little and I hide, is it serious?

We know the risks of tobacco during pregnancy! Miscarriage, prematurity, low birth weight, complications during childbirth, even reduction of immune defenses: we shudder at the idea of ​​the risks incurred by our baby. A recent study suggested that smoking while pregnant could have consequences for two generations. Smoking by the grandmother during her pregnancy would increase the risk of asthma in her grandchildren, even if the mother did not smoke. And yet many women do not stop. They decrease a bit and make people feel guilty a lot. Especially since today, we advocate zero tolerance. No more “better to smoke five cigarettes than to stress too much”.

What if you have not been able to quit smoking?

Instead of hiding and blaming yourself, get help. It is very difficult to come to a complete stop and support may be necessary. Patches and other nicotine substitutes can be used during pregnancy. In case of failure, we do not hesitate to consult a tobacco specialist. In addition, there is unwavering support. Our husband, a friend, someone who encourages us without judging us and without adding to your stress.

Making love turns me off, is that normal?

The libido of pregnancy is fluctuating. In some women, it is at the top, and in others, it is almost non-existent. In the first trimester, between fatigue and nausea, we have all the (good) reasons not to have sex. It is well known that sexual fulfillment is in the second trimester. Except that for us: nothing! Not the shadow of a desire. But frustration at its peak. And the embarrassment too. With respect to our companion. As anxious as we are, we tell ourselves that we are not the only one. We have the right not to want. We talk to the future dad about what we feel, we talk about his anxieties. In all cases, we try to keep physical contact with our partner. Hug him, fall asleep in his, hugs, kisses that do not necessarily end with the sexual act but which keep us in a cocoon of sensuality.

We don’t force ourselves… but we don’t hold back.

Some women experience their first orgasm during pregnancy. It would be a shame to miss it. And why not try the lubricants if intercourse is painful. Need advice, discover the positions of Kamasutra for pregnant women.

Am I allowed to masturbate while pregnant? Is it dangerous for the fetus?

Ah, the famous fever of the second trimester … Your libido takes off again. You feel beautiful and desirable. According to a survey by the SexyAvenue website, one in two women admit to having an “explosive” libido during pregnancy. And 46% of partners surveyed say they find “their other half irresistible” during this period. In short, it is your darling who must be in heaven. Although… It is so intense that it is sometimes full. As a result, you are a little ashamed of your impulses and start to feel frustrated. So why not satisfy yourself? There is no need to feel guilty, solo pleasure is not harmful to your child, on the contrary ! During a pregnancy without any particular problem, there is no risk in making love or masturbating. The contractions of the uterus caused by orgasm are different from those of the “labor” of childbirth. Moreover, the endorphins released, in addition to giving you pleasure and happiness, surely make baby high! Note that sexual activity would even have a protective effect against premature childbirth.

The future daddy annoys me, what should I do?

He went into close protection mode? No more locking the bathroom door or taking the elevator on your own. He wants you to eat leeks and carrot juice because it’s healthy? In short, he suffocates us with his thoughtfulness and kindness. And we don’t want to be fiddling with our stomachs all the time. We do not feel guilty, it happens that pregnant women withdraw, even at the expense of the dad. Know however thathe is trying to go through “his” pregnancy, and not all future dads are so caring! Discuss it with him. Maybe he doesn’t know you don’t need all of these.

«For this 2nd pregnancy, I am a little more “relaxed” on the diet side. I admit, I sometimes eat smoked salmon. My husband can’t stand it at all, he keeps thinking to me and telling me that I am selfish because I do not ask his opinion. At the same time, to hear it, I would have to pay attention to everything. Frankly, I’m tired of hiding to eat a slice of Grisons meat! I don’t know what to do to make him relax a bit.»

Suzanne

Is it normal that I want to seduce while I’m pregnant?

As if there was a sign “Pregnant!” Look down ”. Obviously, this is just a game of flirtation, but you would be hard pressed to admit to anyone that you miss it, even while carrying your lover’s child. Seen by men, and sometimes even your husband to your great despair for that matter, pregnancy is a special time, full of grace. However, some men are very sensitive to the charm of future mothers. Above all, remember that we can be pregnant and sexy.

What if I poop on the delivery table?

Is there a young mother-to-be who is not worried about giving the midwife a bulky gift? Do not be afraid, it is a completely natural phenomenon. In fact, it can even prove to be useful, because when the baby’s head is sufficiently lowered into the pelvis, it presses on the rectum, causing an urge to have a bowel movement and announcing the imminent delivery. The medical staff are used to this kind of little incident. It will fix the problem without you even realizing it, with small wipes. Of course, if you are mortified at the idea of ​​relieving yourself in front of strangers, talk to your doctor, or while preparing for childbirth. You can take a laxative to be taken before leaving the maternity ward, or even enemas to be done once arrived. Note, however, that in principle, the hormones secreted at the start of labor allow women to have a bowel movement naturally.