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Sexuality after childbirth
Less desire is normal
No standard. After the arrival of a baby, each couple finds their sexuality at their own pace. Some earlier than others. But generally speaking, few people resume relationships within the first month. There aren’t really any rules. It is our body that makes us feel whether or not we can resume sex. So don’t panic if the urge doesn’t come back immediately.
Adapt to changes. We just had a baby and a lot has changed in our daily life. A new rhythm of life is established. We will go from the couple ‘lovers’ to the couple ‘parents’. Slowly, sexuality will resume its place in this “new life”.
On communique. Our spouse is impatient? But fatigue and the perception of our “new” body block us from resuming sex. So we say so. We explain to him that our desire is still there, but that he must for the moment be patient, reassure us, help us to tame our curves and to feel desirable.
We “cultivate our relationship”
Make way for tenderness! Our desire for sex may take a long time to return, which is quite normal. For the moment, we are more in demand for tenderness and little hugs than for sex. Maybe we want, and only want him to hug us. It is the occasion for the couple to find a new intimacy.
Duet time. We do not hesitate to devote time to our spouse during an evening, even a day if possible. Let’s try to arrange, from time to time, moments just for two! To come together as a couple, and not as parents. For example, a one-to-one dinner or a romantic stroll to find our bond.
The perfect time
Obviously, desire cannot be controlled. But it is better to plan. For the “hug” break, we favor the moments after our baby’s meals. He sleeps for at least 2 hours. Which leaves you a little peace of mind… above all.
A question of hormones
The drop in estrogen causes vaginal dryness. For more comfort during intercourse, we do not hesitate to use a specific lubricant sold in pharmacies.
A comfortable position
If we have had a cesarean, we avoid having the weight of our partner on the stomach. That would risk, instead of giving us pleasure, of hurting us. Another position not recommended: the one reminiscent of childbirth (on the back, legs raised), especially if it went wrong. We do not hesitate to prolong the foreplay to facilitate penetration.
Afraid of getting pregnant again?
Contrary to popular belief, it is quite possible to get pregnant again soon after childbirth. Few women know they are fertile at this time. Most don’t get their period again until three or four months later. It is therefore best to talk about it with our gynecologist, who will advise us on the contraceptive methods suitable for this period.