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Between mother and daughter, an immediate proximity is created
When she gives birth to a little girl, a mother gives birth to the same being as her. A little boy is more of a mystery, a girl plunges her into familiar territory. She imagines her sensations without difficulty, since she can recognize them within herself. This fundamental knowledge is reflected in the first intimate gestures that are established with the infant. For care, a mother will find it easier to touch and manipulate the body of a little girl than that of a little boy. First, because her sex is on the inside, not on the outside. Then because the mother can rely on her own experience. But also because there is no danger of incest. It’s more complicated to be physically promiscuous with a little boy. There is like a limit that should not be exceeded.
Between mother and daughter, the bond goes through the words
A little girl who hands her mother a mirror in which she can see herself will often elicit more bond than a little boy. This is undoubtedly the reason why daughters and mothers talk to each other more (a data very precisely measured by scientists). According to the shrinks, they communicate and question themselves to understand what is going on in them, to share their experiences, to transmit their feelings. A mother confides very easily and spontaneously in her daughter. This is why little girls often develop language skills at an earlier age than little boys, they love to play pretend, have conversations with girlfriends, tell stories, like their mom …
Between mother and daughter, there is also rivalry
When you are the mother of a little girl, you discover that the bond is coupled with a feeling of more or less acute rivalry, in particular at the time of the Oedipal crisis. Totally under the spell of her father, the little girl unconsciously wishes to oust her mom and marry her dad. Suddenly, she becomes difficult, aggressive limit towards her mother, in short, it is a rather delicate moment to pass. The only thing to do is to put everyone in their place: “I am your mom and I love you very much. Your daddy loves you too, like his little girl. Me, he loves me like his lover because I am his wife. He is my lover, I am his lover. Later, when you grow up, you too will have a lover your age. Thanks to these simple explanations, the situation quickly returns to order. The important thing for a little girl is to know that she is loved by both parents.
Read also the dossier “The Oedipus: what is it exactly?”
A mother is more demanding with a girl than with a boy
Even the most feminist mothers often find themselves pampering and pampering their little boy while, on the contrary, they raise their daughter with the idea that they must quickly learn to fend for themselves. They are more demanding and expect almost perfection from their little girl. Suddenly, the little ones are much more independent than their brothers at the same age. Having said that, it would be reductive to think that all mothers behave the same. Each reacts according to her personal history of each, the little girl she was or that she would have liked to be, the mother she had and what she passed on to her.
A mother is a model of femininity for her little girl
All little girls love to steal their mother’s lipstick and delightfully put their little feet in her heeled shoes… Quite simply because the first female model for a girl is her mother. The maternal imprint will be the fundamental referent from which she will build her own femininity. Then other models will come to influence her, singers, actresses, girlfriends, teachers … If in the first years it is normal for a mother and her daughter to feel very close to each other, it is important that relationship between them evolves and changes. A mother must let her little girl develop her own personality, open up to the outside world, develop her own creativity and find, within herself, the resources to become a unique woman.