How and when does love disappear from a relationship? Does it happen gradually or overnight? How does “we” split into two “I”s, into “he” and “she”? How is it that the mortar, which firmly connected the bricks of marriage, suddenly begins to crumble, and the whole building gives a heel, settles, burying everything good that has happened to people over the long – or not so – years? About this film Noah Baumbach with Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver.
Nicole understands people. Gives them a sense of comfort even in awkward situations. Always listens to what others have to say, sometimes for too long. Understands how to do the right thing, even in complicated family matters. Knows when to push a husband stuck in his comfort zone and when to leave him alone. Gives great gifts. Really plays with the child. He drives well, dances beautifully and contagiously. She always admits if she doesn’t know something, hasn’t read or watched something. And yet – he does not clean up his socks, does not wash the dishes and over and over again brews a cup of tea, which he then never drinks.
Charlie is fearless. He never lets life’s obstacles and the opinions of others interfere with his plans, but at the same time he often cries in the movies. He is a terrible clean-up, but he eats as if he is trying to get rid of the food as soon as possible, as if there is not enough of it for everyone. He is very independent: he easily mends a sock, cooks dinner and irons a shirt, but he does not know how to lose at all. He loves being a dad – he even loves what infuriates others: tantrums, night rises. He unites everyone who is nearby into one family.
This is how they, Nicole and Charlie, see each other. They notice cozy little things, funny flaws, features that can only be seen with loving eyes. Rather, they saw and noticed. Nicole and Charlie – spouses, parents, partners in the theater scene, like-minded people – are getting divorced because … they did not live up to each other’s expectations? Have you lost yourself in this marriage? Have you noticed how far apart you are? Have you sacrificed too much, made concessions too often, forgetting about yourself and your dreams?
Divorce is always painful. Even if it was your decision in the first place
Neither he nor she seems to know the exact answer to this question. Nicole and Charlie turn to relatives, psychologists and lawyers for help, but it only gets worse. The divorce process grinds both of them, and yesterday’s partners, who were each other’s shoulder and rear, slide into mutual accusations, insults and other forbidden tricks.
It’s hard to watch, because if you take away the adjustment for the setting, the environment and the professional sphere (theatrical New York versus cinematic Los Angeles, acting ambitions versus directorial intentions), this story is frighteningly universal.
She says that divorce is always painful. Even if it was your decision in the first place. Even if – and you know this for sure – thanks to him, everything will change for the better. Even if it is necessary for everyone. Even if there, around the corner, a new happy life awaits you. After all, for all this – good, new, happy – to happen, time must pass. So that everything that happened from the painful present became history, your “marriage story”.