“Well, what a cake with your figure”, “you have cheeks like a hamster”, “if only you were taller…”. To many parents, such remarks about the appearance of their daughters seem innocent, because «who else will tell the child the truth, if not a loving mother.» But with their words and actions, they lay in the mind of the child self-doubt, complexes and fears. A new series of commercials will help you look at yourself from the outside.
Cosmetic brand Dove has launched a series of social videos «In the family is not without a lesson» — a project in which the presenters Tatyana Lazareva and Mikhail Shats, using the example of specific situations from life, in an ironic way, talk about the influence of parents on the self-esteem of their daughters. The goal of the project is to draw the attention of adults to how they themselves unconsciously contribute to the development of complexes in children.
The organizers were prompted to create the project by a study conducted jointly with the All-Russian Center for Public Opinion. Its results showed rather sad statistics in matters of self-esteem among the younger generation: the vast majority of teenage girls aged 14-17 are dissatisfied with their appearance. At the same time, 38% of parents said they would like to change something in their daughter’s appearance*.
The videos of the project are presented in the format of a talk show, which works on the principle of bad advice. Each edition of the fictitious program runs under the slogan «Bulling starts at home»: within its framework, parents can learn how to damage children’s self-confidence «correctly».
In the first issue, the parents of little Lena will learn how to «imperceptibly» hint to their daughter that, with her appearance, it is better for her to be photographed with her hair down.
In the second issue, Oksana’s mother and grandmother receive recommendations on how to gently dissuade a girl from buying fashionable jeans that cannot be worn in any way with her complexion. The issue also includes a «star expert» — singer Lolita, who confirms the «effectiveness» of this method and recalls how, with its help, her mother once successfully lowered the self-esteem of a future celebrity.
In the third issue, advice is received by Angelina’s father and brother, who would very much like to warn the girl about the shortcomings of the figure. Cute daily trolling is what you need!
Most parents are sure that they want only the best for their children. But sometimes some manifestations of love and care have negative consequences. And if we ourselves cannot accept the child as he is, it is unlikely that he himself will be capable of this. After all, in childhood, his self-image is made up of the opinions of others: everything that significant adults say about him is remembered and becomes part of his self-esteem.
I would like to hope that those parents who recognized themselves in the videos will think about what they really want for their children. In childhood, many of us did not receive positive evaluations from adults, but now we have a chance to avoid this in our relationships with our children. Yes, we have a lot of life experience, we are older, but let’s face it: we still have a lot to learn. And if such ironic lessons make someone reconsider their views on parenting, that’s great.
* https://wciom.ru/analytical-reviews/analiticheskii-obzor/indeks-podrostkovoi-samoocenki-brenda-dove