We used to think that what we said and what we wanted to say are about the same thing. And nothing of the sort. With many phrases, we produce several times more meanings than we intended. At a minimum: what they wanted to say, what the listener understood, and what an outsider can understand.
I googled here one psychoanalytic term and the link landed on a psychological forum. And there, as in confession. But not quite: here people want to be understood and accepted. Supported. We took their side. A completely natural desire. But the thing is, we don’t know these people at all. We don’t even see it. All we see is their text. And the text is not only not you, but often not even what you wanted to say.
A person wants to leave his experiences on the forum, but leaves the text. And now he exists on his own, separate from the writer. Say “goodbye” to him and hope for sympathy, as for “grace”, according to the poet (“We cannot predict how our word will respond. And sympathy is given to us, as grace is given to us”). And be also prepared for the fact that the readers will not be sympathetic, but maybe funny.
Personally, before closing this page, I managed to cover my face with my hands five times — from embarrassment and … laughter. Although, in general, he is not at all disposed to make fun of human sorrows and complexes. And if a person said these things to me personally, accompanying his message with all his behavior, voice and intonations, I would probably be inspired. But here I’m just a reader, nothing can be done.
I see the phrase: «I want to die, but I understand the consequences.» At first it seems funny
Here girls complain about unhappy love. One wanted to have only one man all her life, but it failed. The other is overcome with jealousy, imagining that the guy is now with her friend. Ok, it happens. But then I see the phrase: «I want to die, but I understand the consequences.» What is this? The mind freezes in place. At first this seems ridiculous: what kind of consequences does the author understand? Somehow even businesslike, as if he could list them. Nonsense and only.
But still there is something in this phrase that makes you come back to it. It’s because of the paradox. The discrepancy between the legal shade (“consequences”) and the mystery of life and death, in the face of which it is ridiculous to talk about the consequences, is so great that it begins to create meanings on its own — maybe not the ones that the author planned.
When they say “I understand the consequences,” they mean that the consequences are larger, more troublesome, or longer than the event that caused them. Someone wants to break a window, and it only takes a moment. But he understands that the consequences can be unpleasant and long-lasting. For him. And for the showcase, by the way, too.
And it could be the same here. The desire to die instantly, and the consequences — forever. For those who decide. But more than that — they are forever for the outside world. For parents, brothers and sisters. For everyone who cares about you. And, perhaps, the girl who wrote this was not exactly aware of all these moments. But somehow she was able to express them in a seemingly ridiculous phrase.
The phrase went on a free float, open to all winds and meanings
Express roughly what is said at the end of Shakespeare’s 66th sonnet. The poet would also like to die there, and he lists many reasons for this. But in the last lines he writes: “Having been exhausted by everything, I would not live a day, but it would be difficult for a friend without me.”
Of course, all this has to be thought out by the one who reads this phrase. It is she herself, and not the sad girl, who gives rise to all these meanings. And also their generates the one who reads this phrase. Because she went on a free voyage, open to all winds and meanings.
This is how everything we write lives on – this is cleverly called “autonomy of the text”. Simply put, speak from the heart.
Talk about the most important things. Maybe it won’t turn out the way you wanted. But there will be truth in it, which the one who reads these words will then be able to discover. He will read them in his own way and reveal his own truth in them.