Contents
Learn patience
To two different situations, one and the same solution. The weather. Enthusiasts are advised to calm things down. Young parents need to get used to their new life, and find their feet without constantly having to be on your back. It won’t be long before they call for help when they are overwhelmed and exhausted. So you can quickly play the savior and make the most of the situation! As for the doubtful, they will find to their surprise that what matters is not their new status, but this little baby they will soon be unable to do without! In both cases, do not position yourself immediately, give the newborn child time to tame you (and vice versa), to charm you.
Respect the rights and duties of grandparents
The status of grandparents is also governed by law, yes! In general, grandparents have the right to visit and accommodate their grandchildren. This right can only be denied to them for serious reasons. They also have the right to participate in their education as long as they do not take the place of parents. They also have a support obligation towards their grandchildren in need.
Recognize the experience of grandparents
You are never happy. You always find fault with the way they take care of their grandchildren. You always warn them at the last moment when you need them: just because they’re retired doesn’t mean they don’t have a life! You always leave something in the little one’s bag, and they have to go get some milk, diapers or spare onesies in a hurry! They find it difficult to find the balance to maintain rules with your children without taking the place of your authority or your educational principles. They feel that they don’t see their grandchildren often enough. It is not easy for them not to intervene when they find your methods too lax or, on the contrary, too severe. They want to spoil them all the time (hence the overflow of sweets!) And enjoy them to the fullest, even if it means appearing heavy!
Seek the support of grandparents
Your parents and in-laws are there to support you in this adventure. If this is not the case, a clarification is required. Whatever your relationships and their motivations, they should not take the opportunity to criticize you systematically in your role as parents. Make them understand in your own way (it will be the right one!) That if they want to enjoy their grandchildren in joy and good humor, they must take it upon themselves … Rather than criticism, kind advice and compliments reassuring will be highly appreciated. After all, if their grandchildren are great and make them proud, it’s also thanks to you! You are often overwhelmed, even overwhelmed, and this is normal. Their presence and their availability, their love too, are important safety valves for you. Try to emphasize these essential points to convince them to bring out the white flag!
Do not maintain a childish rivalry on the back of the child
“With us, no problem …” The little sentence that kills! Does the little one fall asleep like an angel with his grandparents, while it takes you an hour to calm him down at bedtime? Sure, you’re happy that everything is going well, but try to make your parents understand that it is useless to insist too much that your little one is sometimes easier with them than with you. Conversely, if your child refuses to drink his milk with his grandparents, while with you, he throws himself on his bottle when he wakes up, do not make a big deal out of it. Do not harass your parents who, sorry for this refusal, have already tried everything. He will make up for it with a yogurt or on his mash for lunch … A child knows perfectly well the difference between the people who take care of him and how to adapt to them. The key word is mutual trust. A feeling that the child feels on both sides and which allows him to flourish with everyone. It is normal for you to be proud of him, on the other hand, a child is not a way to flatter yourself at the expense of others. Do not use it to feed your little family rivalries, it will only suffer in the long run.
Valuing their qualities as grandparents
You have the impression that your little one is cooler with his grandparents than with you. In a way, it is fair, and almost natural. Do not conceive of any jealousy, even if it is a little annoying, we grant you. Most children (especially toddlers) love the company of their grandparents, whose calm, steady and reassuring life is close to their needs and pace. They are in harmony. In addition, grandparents are the bearers of ancestral knowledge which makes “the link” between the child and his family history, of a wisdom of life which attracts and intrigues him. They are attentive, relaxed and fully present. These qualities are extremely beneficial for your child and you should not hesitate to highlight them. It is very flattering and motivating for grandparents who will surpass themselves!
Claiming your role as a parent
As parents, you are a base for your child, so they can afford to be a little harder on you. It’s a way to test yourself and make sure you “hold on” no matter what. Once again, grandparents should not hesitate to reassure or even compliment parents on the way they are raising their child. We can therefore conclude, without any real surprise, that you are all necessary and complementary! We have too much trouble in life in general simply being nice (in the truest sense of the word) to each other. It is much easier to point out the problems and shortcomings of each. Take the risk of expressing kindness when you think about it, you’ll see, it’s magic for everyone! And it’s not that difficult, anyway!
Establish calm
All families have their little difficulties. If you want things to go well with the little one, deal with the issues seriously, or if it’s really impossible, just let it go. Yep, just like that. Put arguments and other annoyances in your pocket with a tissue on top. It’s essential. We agree that children are sensitive and perceive very well the tensions which are sometimes difficult to hide. The whole thing is not to pretend, but to be clear with yourself and what you really want. We can put relational worries aside and decide to accept that all is not perfect, as long as this does not prevent you, both of you, from maintaining a fulfilling environment for the little one. If you really want to enjoy your grandchildren more than nab yourself with their parents, it will be beneficial for everyone.
To make oneself available
Make yourself available to help your children in their new role. You certainly still have a job, or a busy retirement, and good for you. But with a little planning, everything can be worked out. Regularity is important for bonding. If you live near your children’s home and feel like it, set up a ritual, for example. You can take the little one to the nursery or to his nanny on Friday (or every other Friday), and keep him until Saturday noon. So you take advantage of it quietly, it takes its habits at your place and, significant advantage: parents can sit at the end of the week, get together and start the weekend quietly. Not only do you have fun, but in addition, you are a support for your children who you allow to breathe a little.