Whether or not there will be obstacles in the way of mutual understanding between parents and children depends mainly on the general psychological atmosphere in the family.
We can conditionally distinguish five lines of development of family relations, types of socio-psychological climate of the family and, accordingly, tactics of family education. Although, of course, there are many transitional, erased, intermediate modifications and options.
I took the liberty of using terms for this typology that are more familiar to diplomats and political scientists, military and military academy professors than teachers and parents, and, nevertheless, very accurately characterize the phenomena of interest to us: dictate, guardianship, confrontation, peaceful coexistence on the basis of non-intervention and cooperation.
The question may arise: is it appropriate in the field of child and family psychology to use these terms? Tactics, for example, is a set of means and techniques in the struggle to achieve a goal. But what kind of struggle in the family can we talk about? Who is fighting whom? Children with parents? Parents with children?
We had nothing of the kind in mind when we used the terms «tactics» and «strategy», although such a struggle sometimes takes place. You can fight not only with someone, but also, what is especially important, for something and in the name of something.
Parents fight for their children to grow up the way they want them to be, and this fight is not against the children, but for them. The tactics of such a struggle can be very, very different: successful or unsuccessful, right or wrong, skillful or inept, scientifically substantiated or anti-scientific. This tactic corresponds to the type of family relationship and, ultimately, is generated by them. This is what will be discussed further.
Five Family Parenting Tactics
- Dictate
- Guardianship
- Confrontation
- peaceful coexistence
- Cooperation