BEWARE moms and dads! Just because you are “big ones “, your little ones believe you … and take you at your word ! And as we do not always have the art and the manner of addressing them, slippages are frequent. The sentences that we let go under the influence of anger or weariness sometimes hurt more than a slap on the buttocks: once calmed down, you forget or regret what you have just said, while Pitchoun, him, risk of remembering it for a long time.
To believe that the little ones, so carefree, in appearance, do not understand a quarter of what is said, is a big mistake: a few snatches of words, the intonation of your voice, your disapproving pout are all signs immediately noticeable. And which risk, if you are not careful, to affect his self-confidence, to offend him in his sensitivity and in the love he has for you.
Review of details on what to say… or not to say!
Guilt is never good!
“After all I’ve done for you” or its well-known variant “Why are you hurting mom?” “ are regularly performed at home or at the nursery, in front of pros, who never fail to correct the situation, reminding parents that their little one has his own experiences to do and his life to live, independently of theirs.
Also to be avoided, sentences of the kind “With all the trouble I have given myself, you don’t like my gratin”, “You make me sick” or the even more serious expression, “He’ll kill me, that kid!” “ which alone generate anguish and guilt far too heavy for your little one, making him feel excessively guilty, making him responsible for the suffering of others …
Between 0 and 3 years old, a baby takes what we tell him literally anyway and really believes that he is making us sick, that he is killing us. He really feels responsible for what he does to his parents and if, unfortunately, this becomes a reality, the psychological consequences are likely to prove disastrous in the immediate future and even for a long time to come.
The right attitude : if, for example, Félicie is greedy. Instead of telling her “Are you sure you want to get some more cake?” “ and therefore make her feel guilty by implying that it will make her fat, it is better to explain to her that she has just eaten a hearty and well-balanced meal and to suggest that she keep the piece of the cake to enjoy the afternoon tea. Do not deny her the satisfaction of eating the cake, but moving it over time will help her better fight against her urge.