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Sooner or later, the kid’s curiosity goes so far that he asks immodest questions. It is better for adults to prepare for them in advance.
1. Did you and your dad really stop loving each other?
The parents are breaking up and have not yet informed the child about the imminent changes. But he notices something amiss. For children, love is kisses and hugs, affectionate words and care. And if they do not observe this, then they draw simple conclusions.
How to answer. Do not play around and do not deceive. While adults are experiencing and suffering inside themselves, the baby acutely feels that something is being hidden from him. The peculiarity of the child’s psyche is such that they invent all sorts of horror stories for themselves and quietly suffer. If you have not yet prepared your child for divorce, and questions are already coming, explain the situation. We can say that you have decided so, but still remain the mom and dad of the baby. Don’t go into details. Adaptation to new conditions is important, and there is no rush to do this. An adult can switch or go to a psychologist, and for children, silence and innuendo can become a test.
2. Mom, are you going to die? Mom, will I die too?
Such questions arise in a child after four years. This may be due to tragic events in the family, or it may simply be that he already perceives the dramatic plots of books or cartoons differently.
How to answer… Tell us how it is: sooner or later everyone dies, but this will not happen soon. Emphasize that your baby has a long and happy life ahead. He will grow up, he will have his own children, and you will have grandchildren. It’s great if you give examples of centenarians from among your acquaintances. Use simple and understandable words, answering clearly and specifically to the question asked.
3. Mom, why are you sad?
Children sense changes in the mood of their parents and are alarmed if they notice that their eyebrows are furrowed.
How to answer. Talk about your feelings and don’t lie. Answers “It doesn’t matter” or “I’m not sad” will not work. Of course, talking about the financial crisis for a three-year-old is not worth it, but you can say: “Honey, I’m just a little tired at work” or “I had a fight with a friend.” After all, this is how you show that you need to share everything that happens, and build trusting relationships in the family.
4. Where do children come from?
Self-awareness and gender awareness is a normal stage in a child’s development. He will want to know everything from the harmless “Where did I come from?” to “What is sex?”
How to answer. It is important to satisfy the curiosity of children aged 3-5 years in essence. Listen carefully to the question and answer it, rather than talking about what you think is especially important. For example: “Where do children come from?” “Mom is giving birth.” “Giving birth – how is it?” “He goes to the doctors, and they get the baby.” After eight years, adult questions will appear, they need adequate answers. If you don’t want your son or daughter to rush to learn everything from their own experience, prepare in advance. Buy special books, help understand, explain. Your fear, embarrassment and prohibition will only make this topic even more attractive.
5. Where is my dad?
A mother raising a baby alone should be ready for such a question and know how to react.
How to answer. Try to explain everything to the kid with a couple of sentences. An older child needs details. It is sometimes difficult to contain emotions, but remember: children cannot be used in this scheme. Don’t say, “He left me because I got pregnant.” Say, “We stopped loving each other long before you were born.” A separate story if dad is not alive. Don’t be afraid to talk about the loss, your grief, and your experience. Be sure to remind your baby that daddy loves and protects him.