So much and varied has been said about childish cruelty (and also selfishness, tactlessness, greed, and so on) that there is no point in repeating. Let us immediately take the conclusion: children (as well as animals) do not know conscience. It is neither a basic instinct nor something innate. There is no conscience in nature, just as there is no financial system, state borders and various interpretations of the novel «Ulysses» by Joyce.
By the way, among adults there are many who have heard about conscience. And he makes a smart face just in case, so as not to get into a mess. This is what I do when I hear something like “volatility”. (The devil knows what it is about? Perhaps, I will understand from the interlocutor’s further reasoning. Otherwise, even better, according to one of Murphy’s laws, it turns out that the text completely retains its meaning even without misunderstood words).
So where does this conscience come from?
Since we do not consider the ideas of a sharp awakening of consciousness, a breakthrough of a socio-cultural archetype into the teenage psyche, or a personal conversation with the Lord, quite material things remain. Briefly, the mechanism is as follows:
Conscience is self-condemnation and self-punishment for having done “badly”, “evil”.
To do this, we must distinguish between «good» and «evil».
The distinction between good and evil is laid in childhood in the mode of banal training: for “good” they praise and give sweets, for “bad” they beat. (It is important that BOTH poles be set aside at the level of sensations, otherwise the effect of education will not work).
At the same time, they not only give sweets and beat. But they explain:
- what was it — «bad» or «good»;
- why it was «bad» or «good»;
- and how, with what words decent, well-mannered, good people call it;
- and the good ones are those who are not beaten; bad ones — who are beaten.
Then everything is according to Pavlov-Lorentz. Since, simultaneously with a candy or a belt, the child sees facial expressions, hears voices and specific words, plus experiences emotionally saturated moments (suggestion passes faster), plus general children’s suggestibility from parents — after a few (tens) times we have clearly connected reactions. The facial expressions and voices of the parents are just beginning to change, and the child has already “understood” what he did “good” or “badly”. And he began to rejoice in advance or — which is more interesting for us now — to feel lousy. Shrink and be afraid. That is, «permeate» and «realize.» And if you don’t understand by the first signs, then they will say anchor words to him: “meanness”, “greed”, “cowardice” or “nobility”, “real man”, “princess” — so that it comes faster. The child becomes educated.
Let’s go further. The life of the child goes on, the process of education continues. (Training continues, let’s call by their proper names). Since the goal of training is for a person to keep himself within limits, forbid himself to do unnecessary things and force himself to do what is necessary, now a competent parent praises — “good” — for the fact that the child “understood what he did badly” and he punished himself for this — for what he is going through. At a minimum, those who are “aware”, “confessed”, “repentant” are punished less. Here he broke a vase, but did not hide it, did not dump it on the cat, but — necessarily «guilty» — HIMSELF came, ADMITTED that he was GUILTY and READY FOR PUNISHMENT.
Voila: the child finds the BENEFITS of self-blame. This is one of his magical ways to evade punishment, soften it. Sometimes even turn misconduct into dignity. And, if you remember that the main integral feature of a person is to adapt, then everything is clear. The more often a person in childhood had to snip off additional people for «conscience» and reduce their number for «conscientiousness», the more reliably such experiences were imprinted at the level of a reflex. Anchors, if you will.
The continuation is also understandable: whenever a person (already grown up), sees, feels, assumes a THREAT (of a well-deserved punishment or something that is only served as a punishment — there were and are many criminal and army comrades for such tricks), he begins to REPENT to — AP! — to evade the people, to soften the future, not to grab it in full. And vice versa. If a person sincerely does not see a threat, then “nothing like that”, “everything is fine”. And the conscience sleeps with the sweet dream of a baby.
Only one detail remains: why does a person look for excuses in front of himself? Everything is simple. He is looking for them not in front of him. He rehearses his defense speech to those (sometimes very speculative ones) who he thinks will one day come and ask for mischief. He substitutes himself for the role of judge and executioner. He tests his arguments, he looks for the best reasons. But this rarely helps. After all, he (there, in the unconscious depths) remembers that those who justify themselves (resist, bastards!) also receive for «consciencelessness», and those who honestly repent — indulgence for «conscience». Therefore, those who begin to justify themselves in front of themselves will not be justified to the end. They are not looking for the «truth». A — protection from punishment. And they know from childhood that they praise and punish not for the truth, but for — OBEDIENCE. That those who (if) will understand, will look not for the “right”, but for the “realized”. Not «continuing to lock themselves up», but «voluntarily betraying themselves into hands.» Obedient, manageable, ready for «cooperation».
Justifying yourself to your conscience is useless. Conscience lets go when impunity (albeit seeming) comes. At least as a hope that «if there has been nothing so far, then there will be no more.»