When is it Time to Teach Your Teenagers to Make a Commitment?

It is very important to develop a sense of responsibility in teenagers. By fulfilling their obligations in various areas of life, they, in fact, are building the foundation of their successful future. But in the present, it can also benefit academics and improve relationships with parents, says family therapist David Schwartz.

An important step in the development of adolescents is their willingness to make commitments and fulfill them. The ability to keep one’s word will be a significant advantage in the future, notes family therapist David Schwartz.

Conversely, if they break down and show irresponsibility, this can significantly reduce their chances of success in various areas of life. What types of obligations are involved? They can range from a desire to get good grades to a more respectful attitude towards parents.

The willingness to keep promises can help teenagers manage emotions — because if they splash out uncontrollably, this will inevitably affect relationships with different people. Whatever commitments they make and fulfill, it helps teens gain the confidence to achieve their goals.

As children grow up, they need to understand that society values ​​people who keep their word. Their commitment can be a significant indicator of future success.

How can parents make teenagers feel the value of their reliability? Schwartz recommends asking how they feel when someone promised them and didn’t deliver. Most will remember their disappointment and be able to understand how others feel in response to their optionality. This can motivate teens to keep their word, which in turn will help them feel better in their own lives.

Family

In adolescence, a person, as a rule, is just learning to control his emotions. Under their influence, he can utter hurtful words at home, act thoughtlessly and later regret it. Explosions in communication with parents are quite common.

David Schwartz believes that a teenager can make a commitment not to act recklessly. In such a case, he or she will have to hold back his impulses, take a few deep breaths and pause before giving an answer. This will give them the opportunity to calm down a little and choose a format of communication that is more acceptable to everyone.

For many families, such changes will be significant and will change the overall atmosphere and relationships for the better. If a teenager, following his promise, remembers the pause and gives himself the trouble to stop before throwing out emotions on others, this will not only make communication with parents more positive, but will also help him in the future to carry out a balanced and deliberate dialogue with other people. .

School

By making a commitment to take their studies seriously and achieve good grades, adolescents maintain or open their way to a future vocational or higher education. And it, in turn, will allow them to build a career, find a well-paid and interesting job, which will increase their own level of satisfaction with life.

Many teens think school is a waste of time. Therefore, by making a commitment to truly focus on them and get good grades, the student can create a clear path to overcome their negative attitudes. The difference between a job they love and one they hate is likely to be their commitment to learning today.

Dating

Having become obligatory, a teenager will appreciate this quality in other people. Respecting himself for his ability to keep his word, he will focus on relationships built on respect and good attitude. This, in turn, keeps the teenager safe and also improves their self-esteem. A young man or girl may make a conscious commitment to seek and choose only those relationships in which they are treated properly.

When a teenager has low self-esteem, he or she may let people into their lives who will pressure or manipulate them, because the teenager himself will not believe that he deserves better. If teens make a commitment to only date people who treat them with respect, they are more likely to be happier in their personal lives.

Work

When teenagers get their first job, it is especially important for them to show responsibility. If they fail the first time because of their carelessness, this can create a dangerous situation that will last for years.

Being able to keep his word and do what he undertook, the teenager gains additional self-confidence. It is this confidence that can distinguish them from other job applicants and impress potential employers.

Self-confidence and healthy self-esteem

The essence, according to Schwartz, is as follows. The better a teenager can fulfill his obligations, the more likely he is to succeed. The ability to give a word and keep it opens up many opportunities.

The reliability of this person will be seen not only by others. He or she will be convinced of their responsibility, which will help them develop inner strength and confidence in themselves and their own worth.

Manifested in various areas of life, the responsibility of a teenager gives him great chances for a successful future.


About the Author: David Schwartz is a family and adolescent psychotherapist.

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