Contents
- 1. Don’t apologize for not being an all-knowing God
- 2.
- Don’t apologize for having needs
- 3.
- Don’t Apologize for Being Successful
- 4.
- Don’t apologize for being «out of fashion»
- 5.
- Don’t apologize for not living up to someone else’s expectations
- 6.
- Don’t apologize for being imperfect
- 7.
- Don’t apologize for wanting more
«Forgive me, but that’s my opinion.» The habit of apologizing for every reason may seem harmless, because inside we still remain our own. Jessica Hagi argues that there are situations in which you need to talk about your mistakes, desires and emotions without reservation.
If we doubt our right to an opinion (feeling, desire), by apologizing for it, we give others a reason not to consider it. In what cases should you not do this?
1. Don’t apologize for not being an all-knowing God
Do you really think you shouldn’t have fired that employee because her cat died the day before? Do you feel embarrassed about pulling out a cigarette in front of a colleague who is trying to quit smoking? And how could you smile at a housemate who steals groceries from the store?
You have the right not to know what is happening to others. None of us has the gift of telepathy and foresight. You don’t have to guess what’s on the other’s mind.
2.
Don’t apologize for having needs
You are human. You need to eat, sleep, rest. You may get sick and need treatment. Perhaps a few days. Perhaps a week. You have the right to take care of yourself and tell others that you feel bad or that something does not suit you. You have not borrowed from anyone the piece of space that you occupy and the volume of air that you inhale.
If you only do what follows in the footsteps of others, you risk not leaving your own.
3.
Don’t Apologize for Being Successful
The path to success is not a lottery. If you know you’re great at your job, good at cooking, or can get a million subscribers on Youtube, then you’ve put in the effort to make it happen. You deserve it. If someone next to you has not received their share of attention or respect, this does not mean that you have taken their place. Perhaps his place is empty because he could not take it himself.
4.
Don’t apologize for being «out of fashion»
Have you watched the latest season of Game of Thrones? Even so: you did not watch it at all, not a single episode? If you are not connected to a single information pipe, this does not mean that you do not exist. On the contrary, your existence may be much more real than you think: if you are only concerned with following in the footsteps of others, you risk not leaving your own.
5.
Don’t apologize for not living up to someone else’s expectations
Are you afraid to disappoint someone? But perhaps you have already done it — by being more successful, more beautiful, with different political views or tastes in music. If you make your relationship with another person dependent on how he evaluates you, you give him the right to manage his life choices. If you let a designer customize your apartment to his liking, will you feel comfortable in it, even if it is beautiful?
Our imperfections are exactly what makes us unique.
6.
Don’t apologize for being imperfect
If you are obsessed with the pursuit of the ideal, you see only imperfections and misses. Our imperfections are exactly what makes us unique. They make us what we are. In addition, what repels some may attract others. When we try to get rid of the habit of blushing in public, we may be surprised to find that others see it not as weakness, but sincerity.
7.
Don’t apologize for wanting more
Not everyone strives to be better than they were yesterday. But that doesn’t mean you should feel guilty about making others unhappy with your ambitions. You don’t need excuses to claim more. This does not mean that you are dissatisfied with what you have, that you «are always short of everything.» You appreciate what you have, but you don’t want to stand still. And if others have problems with this, this is a signal — perhaps it is worth changing the environment.
See more at Forbes.