“I have fulfilled my role as a father! “
I hadn’t imagined the timing of the cord cut at all. Accompanied by an exceptional midwife, this moment has become for me an obvious stage in the birth of my daughters. I thought that I was fulfilling my role as a father which is also that of separating, of creating the third. It’s a bit cartoonish, but I really felt that way. I also told myself that it was time for my daughters to have an existence of their own. The “organic” side of the cord didn’t repel me. By cutting it, I had the impression of relieving and “decluttering” everyone! ”
Bertrand, dad of two daughters
“I made a wish for my daughter by cutting it. “
Mathilde gave birth in a birth center in Quebec. We live in Inuit territory and in their tradition, this ritual is very important. The first time, an Inuit friend cut him off. My son has become for her her “angusiaq” (“the boy she made”). Annie donated a lot of clothes at the start. In exchange, he will have to give him his first caught fish. For my daughter, I did it. When I cut, I made a wish for her: “You will be good at what you do”, as tradition dictates. It is a calm moment, after the violence of the childbirth, we put things back in order. ”
Fabien, father of a boy and a girl
“It looks like a big telephone wire! “
“Do you want to cut the cord?” The question surprised me. I didn’t know we could do it, I thought it was the caregivers who took care of it. I can see myself, with the scissors, I was afraid of not succeeding. The midwife guided me and all it took was a scissor blow. I didn’t expect it to give way so easily. Afterwards, I thought about the symbolism… The second time, I was more confident, so I had time to observe better. The cord looked like a thick, twisted wire from old telephones, it was funny. ”
Julien, dad of two daughters
The shrink’s opinion:
« Cutting the cord has become a symbolic act, like a ritual of separation. The father cuts the “physical” bond between the baby and his mother. Symbolic because it allows the baby to enter our social world, therefore the encounter with the other, because he is no longer attached to a single person. It is important that future dads learn about this act. Understanding, for example, that we will not hurt the mother or the baby is reassuring. But it’s also about giving each dad the choice. Do not rush him by offering him this act on the spot, after birth. It is a decision that should be taken first. In these testimonies, we can clearly feel the different dimensions. Bertrand felt the “psychic” value: the fact of separating. Fabien, for his part, describes the “social” side well: cutting the cord is the beginning of a relationship with the other, in this case with Annie. And Julien’s testimony refers to the “organic” dimension by cutting the link that connects the baby to his mother… and how impressive that can be! For these dads, it’s an unforgettable moment … »
Stephan Valentin, doctor in psychology. Author of “La Reine, c’est moi!” to eds. Pfefferkorn
In many traditional societies, the umbilical cord is handed over to the parents. Some plant it, others keep it dried * …
* Umbilical cord clamping ”, midwife memoir, Elodie Bodez, University of Lorraine.