We think that strong feelings make us weak and vulnerable. We are afraid to let in a new person who can hurt. Journalist Sarah Byron believes that the reason is the experience of first love.
Many people run from feelings like the plague. We say, “He means nothing to me. It’s just sex.» We prefer not to talk about feelings, not to manage them. It is better to keep everything to yourself and suffer than to expose yourself to ridicule.
Each has a special person. We rarely talk about it, but we constantly think about it. These thoughts are like an annoying fly that buzzes over the ear and does not fly away. We try to overcome this feeling, but to no avail. You can stop seeing each other, blacklist his number, delete photos, but this will not change anything.
Remember the moment you realized you were in love? You were together doing some nonsense. And suddenly — like a blow to the head. You say to yourself: damn, I fell in love. The desire to talk about it eats from the inside. Love begs: let me out, tell the world about me!
Perhaps you doubt that he will reciprocate. You are paralyzed by fear. But being around him is so good. When he looks at you, whispers in your ear, you understand — it was worth it. Then it hurts, and the pain continues indefinitely.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt, but when it does, everything that movies are made about becomes reality. We are becoming the person we promised not to be.
The more we deny feelings, the stronger they become. So it always has been and always will be
We often fall in love with the wrong people. Relationships are not meant to last. As writer John Green said, “The idea that a person is more than just a person is treacherously treacherous.” We all go through this. We put our loved ones on a pedestal. When they hurt, we ignore it. Then it repeats.
You may be lucky enough to marry your first love and spend your whole life with him. Grow old together and become one of the older couples who walk through the park, holding hands and talking about their grandchildren. This is good.
Most are destined otherwise. We will not marry «the one», but we will remember him. Perhaps we will forget the timbre of a voice or a word, but we will remember the feelings that we experienced thanks to it, touches and smiles. Cherish these moments in your memory.
Sometimes we make mistakes, and this cannot be avoided. There is no mathematical formula or relationship strategy that will protect against pain. The more we deny feelings, the stronger they become. So it has always been and always will be.
I want to thank my first love for hurting me. What helped to experience incredible feelings that I felt in heaven with happiness, and then at the very bottom. Thanks to this, I learned to recover, became a new person, strong and happy. I will always love you, but I will not be in love.
Source: Thought Catalog.