It is never pleasant to find out that you have been betrayed. It is important to know how to behave in these cases. 

Whether the betrayal (secret revealed, infidelity …) comes from a colleague, a friend, his spouse, the first reaction on discovering it is often anger in addition to sadness. Betrayed, one can think of revenge, under the influence of anger. It is better to stay calm, take the time to analyze the situation and not take a radical decision quickly (divorce, decide never to see a friend again…) at the risk of regretting it. Reacting too quickly can be harmful to you. For example, you can say things that you really don’t mean. 

Already, it is essential to verify the facts (which may have been reported to you by a third person) and to know if it is not a simple misunderstanding. 

If you are faced with betrayal, talking to someone you trust makes it less difficult. You can thus share your emotions (it relieves you and allows you to clarify what you are feeling) and also have an external point of view on the situation. 

You may want to know the motivations of the person who betrayed you. You may also want to hear an apology from him. Before planning a discussion with the person who betrayed you, it is necessary to prepare for this interview. Anticipation allows for constructive discussion. 

For this exchange to be constructive, it is better to use non-violent communication techniques and in particular by using the “I and not the“ you ”or the“ you ”. Better to start by laying down the facts and then by expressing what this betrayal had as an effect on you and finish on what you expect from this exchange (explanations, apologies, another way of operating in the future …)

Experiencing betrayal can be an opportunity to question oneself, to learn from it: what can I learn from it as an experience for the future, how could I react constructively if it happens, should I do to this point of confidence…?

Betrayal can also help us determine our priorities in life. In short, when faced with a betrayal, you have to try to see the positive points. Betrayal is an experience, admittedly painful.