Communication is a really rare and valuable thing, not like the traditional “let’s chat”. It cannot arise simply on occasion, cannot be frivolous and leave empty and indifferent.
Recently a friend came to visit with his daughter, a high school graduate. On business. They did the job and started talking. And, as they say, they came up with the topic of modern youth. My friend and I began to criticize it, remembering our time: also not sugar, but as if more meaningful. We had something to talk about, we talked, and today’s young people only “communicate” on various occasions.
“What is communication?” the girl asked quietly. There was a pause. “Well, communication…” Dad drawled. “Communication is…” – I tried to formulate on the move. But it didn’t work out. “Well, you see,” the friend said, “it’s the same as reading a book, not a reference book.” And I added that the psychologist Erich Fromm once noticed that Americans usually try to invite at least two or three couples to the party, and preferably more, because of the fear that it might be boring. For party is not communication, but pastime, part of leisure. One of the right options for spending free time, which fits perfectly into the infotainment, technological model of life. For many people are afraid to be alone with each other without a program and regulations. They feel completely lost and don’t know what to say to each other. “But what about communication?” – Daddy’s daughter asked again. “The same psychologist,” I continued, “talked about doctors returning home together. One says: “I’m very tired today.” The second replies: “Me too.” And the psychologist says – this is communication. Because much more is hidden behind the exchange of simple remarks: mutual understanding, support, professional solidarity.”
Read more:
- Erich Fromm, hologram of the century
Communication requires a certain concentration. If a person is internally constrained and closed, it is difficult to expect a lively conversation from him. But it is absolutely not necessary to communicate with words. You can communicate with your eyes, touch, for example in dance. In any case, communication is always emotional, it cannot be purely rational, and even more so exclusively informational. The main instrument of communication is the heart.
Communication is the ability to go beyond your personal, to hear another, to understand something else, except for your own desires, pain and complexes. It is about helping yourself and others at the same time. The feeling of kinship, which is sometimes called the joy of communication (or luxury, because it is a rarity). There are people who find it hard to even call a friend. And not because there are any psychological problems. And because, in general, there is nothing to say. Probably, if a person does not know how to communicate, he still has little in his soul that can be offered to people, or he himself still cares little about anything.
I finished my monologue, and my friend and I looked at our young interlocutor. She was silent. “Communication is a dialogue…” I suddenly remembered. In this case, I think my friend and I completely forgot about it.