First love occurs mainly in adolescence, or more rarely during post-adolescence, that is to say between the ages of 18 and 30.

At the beginning, the adolescent seeks to discover new and unexplored spaces without really taking the measure: he seeks to test his own limits, his own capacities. This drive usually upsets him. outside the family cocoon, its framework of thought and its daily life.

He looks for images other than those of his parents to identify himself. And it’s there find love who will inaugurate the existence of this other and strengthen a narcissism seriously affected at this age. The amorous object will make the individual exist: he becomes a full person.

The meeting at the origin of the first love dazzles the teenager. She is often seen as a love at first sight, reciprocal and immediate, but in reality, it is rather one-sided, which causes many disappointments….

Jacques Lacan said that ” to love is to give what you don’t have to someone who doesn’t want it “. It was undoubtedly a somewhat pessimistic vision and, moreover, those who taste “shared” love do not agree at all. This first love is ecstasy. The two lovers are one, find many points in common, idealize each other, magnify each other. They form the “perfect couple”, and above all, “complement” each other. Thanks to the other, they will no longer suffer from frustrations or existential difficulties. This fusion is such that some adolescents begin a depersonalization and say for example: ” I don’t know who I am anymore, I don’t recognize myself since I’ve been with you ».

The season of first love occurs more frequently in adolescence, but love states can be found at any age! Adults can also have the impression of reliving their first love … 

It is amazing that there is no school or lesson for learning to love. We take geography, geometry, or driving lessons, but nothing that isn’t about love. This very important feeling in our life, we must discover it alone. It may well exceed us, transcend us, torture us, we have to wait for situations to happen to us to learn to love. What if the adage says that ” when we love, we know it », Sexologists and psychologists do not really agree …

Acceleration of the pulse, redness, anxieties, burning desires, excitement, complete appeasement… The symptoms are there, but is it really love? In adolescence, the love of a partner is often confused with “amorous love”, that is to say the love of the representation of love. 

«  She was everything for me, I was everything for her. I didn’t even look at the other girls. Now I’m with someone, but it’s not the same, I’m looking at others. “A teenager evoking his first love in the excellent article by Catherine Delage,”I fell in love ”.

« You see, this is the first time. I have never experienced this for anyone, not even for my mother. It scares me, it’s a crazy thing. Arthur, 16, who expresses his feelings of love online to Catherine Delage. 

According to a British study designed for the purposes of The Best of Me film campaign, 6 in 10 people still think about their first love often. 4 in 10 would even have retained “feelings” for him or for her. With regard to the partner as he was, perhaps, but what about the person she has become today? Those who try to reconnect with their first love quickly become disillusioned …

First love means there will be more! Three, four, ten, twenty… or even more. Regardless of the number, the questions will always be the same: is this the right person? Am i in love