Sometimes, trying to hide the pain, we become gloomy and aggressive. Psychologist Sarah Bucolt discusses what lies behind this or that emotion and why they should not be hidden.
Alarm call. You try to open your eyes, but the eyelids seem to be filled with lead. But here you still get up, go to the window and look at the street. Grey sky. What do you feel?
The next day, another alarm. You open your eyes and you want to smile just like that, for no reason. Today must be a great day, you have a lot of plans. You jump out of bed, open the window and look outside again. The bright sun shines. What do you feel now?
Climate, light, smells, sounds — everything affects our mood.
Try to keep track of what clothes you wear when you wake up depressed. Most likely, things of dark shades. Now think about the days when you are happy. Everything takes on color, and clothes too. Pink, orange, green, blue.
A familiar smell can take you back to childhood, reminding you of the cake that mom baked for her birthday. The song can remind you of a dear person or time spent with him. Music is to evoke pleasant memories, or vice versa. Our emotions are dependent on the outside world, but they should not control us, but we should control them. How to do it?
Don’t hide negative feelings
All emotions, including negative ones, are useful. Sometimes you don’t want others to know what’s on your mind, so we hide behind a mask. Sometimes we deceive ourselves in what we really feel. In any case, putting on impenetrable armor, we defend ourselves so that no one can hurt. Is it correct?
If friends and family don’t know what’s going on with you, they won’t be able to help. You must have been taught not to ask for anything, to be independent and rely only on yourself. Therefore, when you find yourself in a situation from which you cannot get out, you are afraid to ask for help. But it’s not bad to let someone help you. It brings you closer to friends and family.
Asking for help has a special meaning: by doing so, you inform the person that you trust him, need him. And loved ones feel that they need you.
How to change the mood?
If you are sad, you can cheer yourself up by surrounding yourself with bright colors and colors. If you’re in a melancholy mood, open the windows, turn on loud music, dance, or clean up the room. Change your attitude to circumstances. It depends only on us with what mood we wake up and spend the day.
Learning to manage emotions is not always easy, but this skill will become your assistant for life. If you start to be sarcastic in an argument with a loved one or friend, remember that they may be aware of the feelings and emotions that your words hide. Ask yourself: why am I reacting in such a way that makes me angry?
Learning to understand others is the sign of a wise person. You can become that if you think about how you yourself feel at a particular moment. Learn to listen to yourself, and it will be easier for you to understand others. Remember that happiness is also learned.
Parable of sadness and rage
One day, sadness and rage went to a fabulous reservoir to swim. Rage hurried, quickly bathed and left the water. But rage is blind and sees what is happening indistinctly, so in a hurry she put on a dress of sadness.
Sadness, in turn, calmly, as always, finished bathing and slowly left the pond. On the shore, she found that her clothes were gone. But most of all she did not like being naked. So I put on the dress I found: the dress of rage.
It is said that since then one can often see rage — blind and terrible. However, it is worth taking a closer look and it is easy to notice that sadness is hiding under the dress of rage.
Everyone wants to hide their feelings sometimes. If a person behaves aggressively, perhaps he just feels bad. Be attentive to yourself and others, and your life will become fuller and brighter.
About the author: Sara Bucolt is a psychologist.