This method has a mixed reputation. Many consider Neuro Linguistic Programming a tool for manipulation. Is it so?
Psychologies: What is NLP?
Nadezhda Vladislavova, psychologist, NLP trainer: The answer is in the title. Let’s break it down: «neuro» means that we act on our own brain, in which, as a result of our influence, neurons are rearranged. «Linguistic» — the impact occurs with the help of special technologies, we select special words and build phrases in accordance with the set goals.
«Programming» — the brain consists of programs. They control our behavior, but most often are not realized. If the behavior no longer suits us, we can replace programs, modify existing ones, or install new ones.
Is it hard to do?
It depends on how well you have established a connection between consciousness and the unconscious. Let me explain this with a metaphor. Imagine that consciousness is a rider and the unconscious is a horse. The horse is much stronger, it carries the rider. And the rider sets the direction and speed of movement.
If they are in agreement, they will easily get to the appointed place. But for this, the horse must understand the rider, and the rider must be able to give the horse understandable signals. If this does not happen, the horse stands rooted to the spot or rushes to no one knows where, or it may even buck and throw off the rider.
How to learn «horse language»?
About the same as we just did, talking about the horse and the rider. The dictionary of the unconscious is images: visual, auditory, kinesthetic… There is also grammar: different ways to call and connect these images. It takes practice. But those who have learned to communicate with the unconscious are immediately obvious, they are the most successful in their profession …
Not necessarily in psychology?
Not necessarily, although many psychologists use NLP techniques with success. Probably almost everyone wants positive changes in their life. One wants to make a breakthrough in his career, the other — to improve his personal life. The third perfects his body. The fourth is to get rid of the addiction. The fifth is preparing for the election campaign. Etc.
But here’s what’s interesting: no matter where we start, then there is a breakthrough in all areas. When we connect the creative energy of the unconscious to solving problems, many possibilities open up.
Sounds great! Why does NLP have such a controversial reputation?
There are two reasons. The first is that the more theory, the more scientific the method looks. And NLP is practice and more practice. That is, we know how it works, we have made sure that it works this way and not otherwise, but why?
The creator of the method, Richard Bandler, refused even to build hypotheses. And he was often reproached for being unprofessional, and he answered: “I don’t give a damn whether it’s scientific or not. Suppose I pretend to be doing psychotherapy. But if my client is able to pretend that he has recovered and then maintain himself in this state, very well, that suits me!”
And the second reason?
The second reason is that NLP is an effective tool. And the effectiveness itself is frightening, because how it will be used depends on whose hands it is in. Can NLP be brainwashed? Can! But you can also protect yourself from washing with it. Is it possible to seduce someone and leave? Can. But isn’t it more interesting to learn how to flirt in a way that is pleasant to everyone and not offensive to anyone?
And you can also build harmonious relationships that energize both. We always have a choice: during negotiations, to force someone to do something that is not profitable for him, or to connect the unconscious of all partners and find a solution that will be beneficial to everyone. And in this place, some say: this does not happen.
But this is just your limiting belief. It can be changed, NLP works with this too.