If you, taking care of a child, forbid something to him, you are an enemy for him. If the child himself ran into something, and you helped him out, or at least took pity on him, you are his friend and savior, and life and circumstances acted as a teacher. Is it possible to use this, is it possible to do so that the child is taught as if not by you, but by circumstances? Yes, it is possible if these circumstances are allowed to the child — or arranged.
If you do not patronize the child excessively, life will begin to teach the child itself. As JJ writes about it. Rousseau:
What was previously a game or a trifle for him can be turned into a nuisance, or even a big nuisance. What seemed cool in his fantasies can be made an avoidable reality.
You can allow the child what he wants so much — if it does not burden you, but it will be a lesson for him.
When a child likes to insist on his desires, but you have to pay for these desires, you just need to make sure that the child himself pays for his desires.
A story from A.N.: I brought up a wonderful five-year-old person Ksenia. We are going to walk — far to the lake. Ksyusha intends to take her favorite suitcase “for fishing” with her for a walk: a thing for a five-year-old child is bulky and somewhat heavy. I explain that it will be difficult for her. Ksyusha insists. Fine. I allow her to take the suitcase with her, noting that she will only carry it on her own. How she whined and puffed colorfully on the way back! The next time we walked wonderfully without a suitcase. No questions about suitcases at all.
This is how learning occurs with the help of negative experience: natural experience or specially created, for educational purposes, as a responsibility for the consequences.
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.