Sometimes we want our loved ones to understand us at a glance. We knew what we wanted long before we put our thoughts into words. But what if such a desire harms the relationship and only a frank conversation will help to truly understand each other?
Veronica believed that Alexander was the ideal partner, and happily agreed to marry him. They were always on the same wavelength, they had enough eyes to understand each other. But as soon as they began to live together, she discovered with surprise and anger that her chosen one was not at all as insightful as she thought. She even had to explain what and how to do in bed to please her.
“If he really loved me,” Veronica insisted, “he would know what I want. I wouldn’t have to explain anything to him.» She believed: if you have sincere feelings for someone, intuition will tell you what your loved one wants.
It is quite logical that when partners love and feel each other, when they like the same thing and even thoughts sometimes converge, their relationship becomes better.
Conversely, if people love and care for each other, they gradually learn to understand each other. But this does not mean at all that lovers can read each other’s thoughts. On the contrary, such an expectation is Veronica’s mistake. She destroys her marriage, believing that her husband just needs to know what she wants. Otherwise, the relationship does not suit her.
But the reality is that even the deepest and strongest love does not create a telepathic connection between us. No one can get into the thoughts of another and fully understand his emotions, regardless of the strength of love and sympathy.
Humans don’t have patterns of behavior based on instincts. In addition to basic stimuli and reflexes, we get information from examples and experiences, mistakes and lessons. We read books and textbooks to learn new things.
Simply put, humans are the only creatures on Earth that can express complex emotions and thoughts through speech. To better understand each other, to make relationships stronger and deeper, we must voice our thoughts and feelings clearly and clearly.
Belief in love telepathy is also dangerous because it forces partners to play games, arrange tests to check if the partner really loves and how strong his feelings are.
For example, Anna wanted to know if Max really treated her the way he said. She decided that if his feelings were really deep, he would insist on taking her to her aunt, who was due to return from a trip, even if Anna said that this trip was not important to her. If the husband fails the test, it will mean that he does not love her.
But it would be much better for both of them if Anna directly told Max: “Take me to my aunt when she returns. I want to see her»
Or another example of a dishonest game based on a false belief in love telepathy. Maria asked her husband if he wanted to meet friends for dinner on the weekend. He replied that he was not in the mood for fun and did not want to see anyone. Later, having discovered that Maria took his words seriously and canceled dinner, he was indignant: “If you really loved me, you would understand that I wanted to meet friends, but refused simply under the influence of mood. So you don’t really care about my feelings.»
Strong, deep relationships are always based on clear and open communication. An honest expression of our desires, likes and dislikes is what helps us live together in love and harmony. We teach each other how to interact with us, show what we like and what we don’t. And tricks, checks and games can only spoil the relationship.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t expect others to read your mind. Express wishes and hopes openly and clearly. Your loved ones deserve it.
About the author: Clifford Lazard is a psychologist.