Contents
We become zen in 2017!
1. Shout away from children
When you feel that anger is building up and you can’t stop yourself from exploding, let it escape by yelling at an inanimate object, rather than at your children. Shout your “Arghhh” in a closet or the like, such as a toilet, trash can, freezer, dresser, drawer, or bag. After doing this for a few days, and making your kids laugh by screaming at clothes, you will realize that you can express your frustration without involving them. The next step is to contain the “Ahhh”. The more you practice controlling when you scream, the more you will learn to calm yourself down and the scream will eventually not come out at all.
2. Let go of critical situations
Investigate what officially triggered your anger every time you get off your hinges. Get in the habit of evaluating situations that are difficult for you and classify slippages into three categories: manageable situations, sticky situations and impossible situations. You will do a new exam every four days.
— Manageable situations are the easiest to remove because there is a simple solution to remove the trigger. Examples: the morning run (getting things ready the day before), noise (wearing earplugs® or creating zones of silence at home), children who forget to brush their teeth or wash their hands (display good habits in the bedroom).
— Delicate situations are special moments that you can learn to anticipate so that you are ready when they arise. In some cases, with enough practice, they might even disappear from the list. For example: marital conflict, procrastination with children, great fatigue, etc.
— Impossible situations are out of your control, you can’t make them go away or fit them into your schedule. They probably haunt you every day. Examples: health problems, traumatic events from the past, the behavior of others. They are not necessarily dramatic. The solution is to spot them well, to accept their existence and to let go without trying to eradicate them, since it is mission impossible.
3. Open to forgiveness
Sentences beginning with “I should have …” are dangerous, they encourage rumination and therefore howling which, in turn, aggravates problems. Focusing on the negative aspects of life makes it difficult to see the positive side of people, especially children. When we think negative, we see negative, we speak negative. Try to cut down on the time allotted for negative thoughts. Try to focus on solutions: “Next time, I should rather…” Practice forgiveness. Forgive others for their mistakes and yours as well. Forgive yourself for yelling in the past. Say loud and clear: “Yes! I forgive myself for yelling in the past. I make mistakes. I am human. “
4. Create positive mantras
We all have a lot of judgments in our minds, such as “I can’t lose weight” or “No one loves me” or “I’ll never stop screaming”. By repeating them over and over, we believe them and they become reality. Fortunately, the power of positive thinking and optimism can overcome this. Instead of saying “Argh! I will not arrive there ! Say to yourself several times a day: “I can do this. I choose to love more and scream less. »You will see, it works!
In video: 9 tips to stop screaming
5. Laugh when you want to scream!
Anything is an integral part of life. Anticipating, accepting and therefore welcoming the slightly crazy side of life, instead of trying to fight it or change it, gives a lot more energy and patience so as not to scream in irritating situations. The adage, “Smile if you’re in a bad mood and you’ll feel happier” applies very well to laughter. When you want to scream, laugh or pretend. Laughter calms anger and forces you to take a step back. Since it is impossible to be angry and laugh at the same time, tell your children funny stories and ask them to tell you some. Make a meal upside down. Dare something absurd (what if they dressed you in their clothes?)… In short, have fun with them, relax, you will be in a better position not to scream.
6. Sort out acceptable cries and others
No one is perfect, so you have to raise your voice. Some cries fall into the “acceptable” category, such as everyday voice, whispering, clear voice that patiently redirects, firm voice, and “I’m not kidding!” Voice. Some cries are in the “uncool” category, such as the cry of anger, the cry too loud (except the emergency cry to warn your child of danger). Some are in the “not cool at all” category, such as the intentionally hurtful cry of rage. The challenge is to get to totally eliminate “not cool” cries and replace “not cool” cries with acceptable cries..
Become an orange rhino!
The “Orange Rhino” challenge
Sheila McCraith is the mother of four very young boys “full of life” … not to say hyper turbulent! And like all mothers in the world, she quickly found herself on the verge of burnout! Sensing that she was going to crack soon, she clicked: we must find a way to end once and for all the bad habit of yelling at your children. And that’s how the “Orange Rhino” challenge began! Sheila made an official promise to herself to go 365 days in a row without screaming and made a solemn pledge to no longer be a gray rhino, that naturally calm animal that when provoked becomes aggressive, but an orange rhino. , that is, a warm parent, patient and determined to remain Zen. If you, too, want to become a calm Orange Rhino, practice with this light program.