Despite the abundance of information, we still have a lot of prejudices that can complicate intimate life. Sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc analyzes one of these popular opinions every month.
Two people are involved in sexual relations, which means that both partners are responsible for them. Everyone here has their own zones of modesty, the boundaries of what is permissible, the fantasies of two do not always and not always coincide. But is it possible to say that someone is “guilty” of this? For example, a woman who is not sexy enough, inventive, active … Should it be she who feeds the imagination of a man — as if he were a child who does not know what to do with himself, and is waiting for an adult to come up with a game for him? And if you wait for an incentive only from the outside, from someone else, is there a guarantee that it will bring pleasure? Or maybe the “bored” person himself lacks something inside — and that is why this boredom and complaints that the partner cannot stop, no matter how much she puts effort into it?
Today, our world largely consists of samples, standards, models — and therefore modern a man is less and less inclined to look for a source of erotic inspiration in himself and in his relationships. In addition, by nature, he reacts more to visual impressions: unlike a woman, he can see his organ, observe its excitement. Because of this feature, he will be more willing to look outside for a visual stimulus than to turn inward to the source of desire. However, sexual maturity consists in being able to find inspiration in oneself, to feed one’s desire, setting out to conquer another. This creativity manifests itself in our feelings and in the questions that we address to ourselves and to our partner.
Finally, boredom in bed can also speak of a deeper dissatisfaction — relationships in a broad sense. Then you should ask yourself the question: what is going wrong in them? Or maybe it’s hard for you to allow yourself to show sensuality — and fantasies come to the rescue that somewhere and with someone else everything would be completely different … In this case, really, no new positions in bed will change anything.