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If you, like many people, tend to dwell on negative thoughts, you should try the age-old simple but effective method proposed by psychotherapist and Buddhist practitioner David Altman.
Whether we like it or not, we all get hung up on negative thoughts from time to time. An inner voice suddenly begins to tell us that we are not smart enough, successful enough, or should become such and such …
Trying to escape or deny these thoughts takes too much energy. You can wage a mental war with them indefinitely, but in the end they will return, becoming even more unpleasant and intrusive.
Psychotherapist and former Buddhist monk Donald Altman has written several best-selling books in which he helps to use Eastern mindfulness practices to deal with some of the most common problems we Westerners face.
In particular, he suggests applying the strategy of «good old jiu-jitsu» and turning negative thoughts on their head with a simple action. This mental exercise can be summed up in one word: gratitude.
“If that word makes you sleepy, let me give you research data that might surprise you,” Altman writes.
This study showed that regular practice of gratitude is highly effective and leads to the following results:
- increased life satisfaction,
- there is progress towards achieving personal goals,
- stress level decreases, depressed mood becomes less pronounced,
- young people increase their attentiveness, enthusiasm, perseverance and ability to concentrate,
- it becomes easier to maintain social contacts, the willingness to help and support others increases,
- the focus of attention and measurement of success is transferred from material to spiritual values, the level of envy of others decreases,
- good mood lasts longer, there is a feeling of connection with other people, outlook on life becomes more optimistic,
- in patients with neuromuscular diseases, the quality and duration of sleep improve.
Jerry’s story
Altman calls all these results only the tip of the iceberg. While talking about the positive effects of gratitude practice, the therapist uses the example of his client, Jerry.
Jerry had a difficult family situation: his grandfather regularly ended up in psychiatric hospitals, and his mother was diagnosed with severe depression. This could not but affect Jerry’s emotions and a categorical description of himself: «I have a genetic tendency to depression, and there is nothing I can do about it.»
The therapist suggested to Jerry a daily practice of gratitude, and after a while both noted significant positive changes in the mind and in the life of the man, which eventually became the cornerstone of changes in his perception and attitude to the events of life.
Altman recalls a day when his client said, «Yes, I have depressive periods, but I know how to deal with them by practicing gratitude.» There was much more confidence and optimism in these words than before, and such positive dynamics became possible in large part due to the acquired skills of gratitude.
Practicing Mindful Attention
Practicing gratitude trains our attention in a very specific way. For example, we often focus on what is missing or going wrong in our lives, comparing ourselves to others. But it is in our power to turn our attention towards the good and beautiful that is happening to us or that surrounds us.
Why is it so important? By noticing what we can be grateful for, we cultivate a different approach to life and different situations. In turn, this not only changes the direction of thought and behavior, but also helps to form a supportive, life-affirming habit for the future.
Stay here and now
We are accustomed to spending a lot of time waiting — surfing the Internet, watching sports programs, entertainment TV shows, and so on. Gratitude literally catapults us into the present moment, because it requires active engagement. We just need to be in the present moment in order to feel what we can say thank you for.
This gives a feeling of a stronger connection with reality and an optimistic view of the result of our actions. Gratitude helps build resilience because we focus on the positive.
Three easy ways to practice gratitude
For those who are interested in this practice, Donald Altman gives very specific recommendations.
1. Realize and articulate right now what you are grateful for. For example: «I am grateful for _____ because _____.» Thinking about the reasons for gratitude helps to delve deeper into this topic.
2. Make a list of your thanks for the day. Get a mug that says “Thank you” and put a coin in it for each awareness of this feeling. Or write a few words on a small piece of paper about what you want to say thank you for. At the end of the week, check your piggy bank and notice how many thanks you have accumulated.
3. Share your feelings with others. Tell them about the practice and what you are grateful for this day. This is a great way to strengthen your connection with others.
Try doing this throughout the week, but don’t repeat the same gratitude on different days. Direct your conscious attention in a positive direction, and you will see how much there is in your life for which you want to say thank you.