The opinion of a normal teenager about this approach.
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Not all of us received a classical upbringing, but even if we behave exemplarily, we have to communicate with normal, ordinary people. And ordinary people, even when they do not behave in conflict, at least in communication often allow conflictogens. Gu.e.st, sharp remarks, offensive inattention, phrases with a position of superiority — all this is unpleasant and you don’t want to miss it. And how to react to it?
It is clear that the main thing is to react internally calmly, then it will be easier to choose an adequate external form of reaction. Inner peace is an expensive thing, but a real one. First of all, the internal translator helps here — the ability to hear the person next to us in a positive or understanding way. Far from always conflictogens fly in our direction intentionally, sometimes a person is simply in emotions or simply does not follow what and how he says. But if he has not been brought up enough to speak correctly, we may have the wisdom to translate his words as they might sound in a more acceptable way. So, master the technique of internal translation, and in any conversation you will feel much more confident.
Outwardly, you can react in different ways: nothing, a hint, pay attention, please … See →
There are hardly any rules that are uniform for everyone: what is perfect for one is not suitable for another. However, take a look, maybe something will be of interest to you.
Communication culture for teens: Meaningful parents in a quality family teach their teen children the following things to communicate with each other…
Question. Tell me, please, the younger sister (the difference is 9 years) often allows herself to make a bored face in a conversation and casually drop: I’m not interested. This is if the topic of conversation was not proposed by her. It seems to me that this is a position of superiority. This is very unpleasant for me, because the topics are quite neutral, without negativity. Tell me, please, how to talk with my sister so that she does not allow herself such a position. The only thing that comes to mind is to keep some distance and not start the conversation first. I will be grateful for the answer.
Response. There are many options: funny, warm, serious, and tough. It’s always best to start with warmth, but if that doesn’t help, it may be necessary to set your expectations tough, too. Some intermediate variant could sound like this:
“Lena, I have a request for you … We talked with you, I started talking about planting in the country, and you made a bored face and said that you were not interested. It’s normal that you might be interested in the topic, but the way you said it, the style of your remark — I didn’t like it. If you would hug me and warmly ask me to talk about something more interesting for you, everything would be different … Don’t make such a face. Lena, you didn’t mean to offend me, right?»