Open, self-confident people are more likely to achieve success and know how to win over others. They are positive, trust people and do not shy away from difficulties. At the heart of this attitude to life is a secure attachment to parents. Psychologist Ellis Boyes talks about how to raise her.
One of the important tasks of parents is to raise a child with a secure attachment style. If you can do this, he will confidently explore the world, knowing that he has someone to turn to for help.
A secure attachment style makes it easy to strike up acquaintances and create strong bonds. Carriers of this style are not afraid to seek support from objects of affection — parents, teachers and partners. These people are open to new things, because they are sure that their loved ones unconditionally accept them.
Here are some tips on how to develop a secure attachment style in your child.
1. Teach him to recognize and satisfy his needs. Help to understand when he is really tired or hungry.
2. Reassure your child that he can always get your attention when he is scared or wants to share thoughts, emotions or experiences. Emotional support is needed by a child not only in difficult times, the response to positive events and thoughts is also very important.
3. Use eye contact as a means of supporting the child.
A child’s need for parental attention varies with age and physical condition.
4. Do not pull the child away from you too abruptly. Observe how long it takes to be with you and how long he can go without you. For example, read a book for 10 minutes, then give him toys and cook dinner. After a while, when he demands your attention, take him in your arms, talk to him, play and go about your business again. A child’s need for parental attention varies with age and physical condition.
5. If you raised your voice to him or did not immediately pay attention to him, ask his forgiveness. Apologizing is an integral part of a trusting relationship. Every parent makes mistakes sometimes. We need to realize this, correct mistakes and restore trust.
6. Do not try to sneak out the door unnoticed when the child has turned away. Be predictable. To reduce a child’s anxiety, introduce rituals so that the child knows what to expect. For example, you can come up with rituals for saying goodbye, greetings, and going to visit your grandmother.
Do not try to convince yourself that if the child does not scream when you leave, then he is not worried. Each child has his own temperament and his own period of reaction to events. Try to accustom your baby to new people, places and events gradually.
Safe attachment style is an investment in the future of the child
7. Many calm children are hesitant to admit their anxiety. They may be afraid to ask the babysitter to take them to the toilet or to tell them about spilling milk. Talk to your child, repeat that he can come to you with any problem and you will help him cope with it. He needs to know that even if you are angry with him, you still love and support him.
8. Do not forget that the individual characteristics of the child affect his attitude to the world. Introverted and doubting children have a harder time trusting others. They need more parental attention and support.
It is important to educate, educate the child and gradually, step by step, let him swim freely. But at the same time, be ready to help at any time, regardless of how old the child is.