The qualities that will ensure the child’s success in life can and should be brought up from childhood. And here it is important not to give a blunder: not to press, but also not to nurse.
Self-confidence and self-confidence is one of the main gifts that parents can give their child. This is not what we think, but Karl Pickhardt, a psychologist and author of 15 books for parents.
“A child who lacks confidence will be reluctant to try new or difficult things because they are afraid of failing or disappointing others,” says Karl Pickhardt. “This fear can hold them back for life and prevent them from making a successful career.”
According to the psychologist, parents should encourage the child to solve difficult problems for his age and support him in this. In addition, Pickhardt provides some more tips for raising a successful person.
1. Appreciate the child’s effort, regardless of the outcome.
When the baby is still growing up, the path is more important to him than the destination. Whether the child managed to score the winning goal, or missed the goal – applaud his efforts. Children shouldn’t hesitate to try again and again.
“In the long term, constant striving gives more confidence than temporary successes,” says Pickhardt.
2. Encourage practice
Let the child do what is interesting to him. Praise him for his diligence, even if he practices playing the toy piano for days on end. But do not push too hard, do not force him to do something. Constant practice, when a child puts effort into an interesting activity, gives him confidence that the work will be followed by a result that will get better and better. No pain, no gain – a saying about this, only in the adult version.
3. Letting Yourself Solve Problems
If you constantly tie his shoelaces, make a sandwich, make sure he took everything to school, you, of course, save yourself time and nerves. But at the same time, you prevent him from developing the ability to look for ways to solve problems and deprive him of the confidence that he is able to cope with them on his own, without outside help.
4. Let him be a child
Don’t expect your toddler to behave like a small adult, according to our “big” logic.
“If a child feels that they cannot do something as well as their parents, they will lose the motivation to try to become better,” says Pickhardt.
Unrealistic standards, high expectations – and the child rapidly loses self-confidence.
5. Encourage curiosity
One mother once bought herself a clicker and pressed a button every time the child asked her a question. By the afternoon, the number of clicks exceeded a hundred. It’s hard, but the psychologist says to encourage children’s curiosity. Children who have a practice of getting answers from their parents do not hesitate to ask questions later, in kindergarten or school. They know that there are many unknown and incomprehensible things, and they are not ashamed of it.
6. Make it difficult
Show your child that they are able to achieve their goals, even small ones. For example, riding a bike without safety wheels and maintaining balance is not an achievement? It is also useful to increase the number of responsibilities, but gradually, in accordance with the age of the child. There is no need to try to protect, save and insure from the whole child. So you will deprive him of immunity to life’s difficulties.
7. Don’t instill a sense of exclusivity in your child.
All children are exceptional for their parents. But when they get into society, they become ordinary people. The child must understand that he is not better, but also not worse than other people, so an adequate self-esteem will be formed. After all, those around him are unlikely to treat him as exceptional without objective reasons.
8. Do not criticize
Nothing is more discouraging than parental criticism. Constructive feedback, helpful suggestions are good. But do not say that the child does his job very badly. Firstly, it is demotivating, and secondly, children become afraid of failing the next time. After all, then you will scold him again.
9. Treat mistakes as learning
We all learn from our mistakes, even though the saying goes that smart people learn from the mistakes of other people. If parents treat childhood mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow, he will not lose his self-esteem, he will learn not to be afraid of failure.
10. Create new experiences
Children are by nature conservative. Therefore, you will have to become a guide for him to everything new: tastes, activities, places. The kid should not have fear of the big world, he should be sure that he will cope with everything. Therefore, it is imperative to acquaint him with new things and impressions, to broaden his horizons.
11. Teach him what you can.
Up to a certain age, parents for a child are kings and gods. Sometimes even superheroes. Use your superpower to teach your baby what you know and can do. Don’t forget: you are a role model for your child. Therefore, try to lead such a lifestyle that you would like for your beloved child. Your own success in a particular activity will give the child confidence that he will be able to do the same.
12. Don’t broadcast your concern
When a child with all his skin feels that you are worried about him as much as possible, this undermines his self-confidence. After all, even if you do not believe that he will cope, then who will? You know better, which means that he really will not cope.
13. Praise him even when the child fails.
World is not fair. And, no matter how sad, the baby will have to come to terms with it. His path to success will be full of failure, but this should not be an obstacle for him. Each subsequent failure makes the child more stable and stronger – the same principle of no pain, no gain.
14. Offer help, but don’t insist
The child should know and feel that you are always there and will help if something happens. That is, he is counting on your support, and not on the fact that you will do everything for him. Well, or most of it. If your child depends on you, he will never develop self-help skills.
15. Encourage to try new things.
It can be a very simple phrase: “Oh, you decided today to build not a typewriter, but a boat.” A new activity is getting out of your comfort zone. It is always unpleasant, but without it there is no development or achievement of goals. Not being afraid to violate your own comfort – this is the quality that needs to be developed.
16. Don’t let your child go into the virtual world
Encourage him to connect with real people in the real world. The confidence that comes with networking is not the same as the confidence that comes with live communication. But you know this, and the child can still substitute concepts for himself.
17. Be authoritative, but not overly harsh.
Too demanding parents may well undermine the independence of the child.
“When he is told all the time where to go, what to do, what to feel and how to react, the child becomes addicted and is unlikely to act boldly in the future,” concludes Dr. Pikhardt.