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We masterfully know how to make an elephant out of a fly, exaggerating the existing difficulties and creating them in our imagination. But there is also a way back. Four methods will help to get rid of tension in the body and clear the mind of unnecessary thoughts.
1. Switch thoughts
When we think about pressing issues, we sometimes become anxious or gloomy. The method of the Swiss psychotherapist Roger Vittoz, based on the “correct susceptibility”, helps to get out of this state, refresh your eyes and find the right solution.
It “helps stop negative thoughts and get rid of anxiety,” explains psychotherapist Martina Mingan. “Resting the brain allows you to fully restore attention to yourself.” You will need a stone and a quiet place where you can be alone.
First step: stand up with your arms down, breathe in through your nose, relax your neck and shoulders, make a few faces to get a feel for your face and then relax it. Think about the problem that is bothering you and define your condition on three levels.
Body: what sensations in the fingers, feet, in the chest? Emotional: what do you experience – sadness, joy, excitement, anxiety? Intellectual: what is going on in your thoughts? Then name the general state in one word: anxiety, longing, tension, fear, grief, anger, stress … Feel how it resonates in your emotions and body. If the word is chosen correctly, you will feel it.
Second phase: take a pebble and focus on its color, shape, weight, temperature… Roll it in your hand, trace its bumps, cracks, depressions with your fingertips. Focus on feelings. How does he smell?
After a few minutes, ask yourself the question again: “What is the word for my general condition now?” How does this word respond in the body? Is it no longer the original word for your condition?
If you still feel that, for example, anxiety is still present, do not rush, give yourself more time to study the stone. Do this exercise several times a day to get in the habit of “dive into the sensations” and reduce mental tension.
Meditation option in the metropolis: if you don’t have pebbles at hand, turn on your fantasy. Close your eyes and move carefully, safely around the room. Touch something without opening your eyes. What’s this? Try to determine its size, texture, temperature and reaction to your touch – whether this object is heated or remains cold.
Feel it. Try turning. Smell, listen to it (is it rustling, ringing or tapping?). Open your eyes: are you surprised? Or did you manage to guess the item right away? What new did you learn about him and your feelings? Did you know how pleasant the spine of this book is to the touch? Or did you think it was brown, but it turned out to be green?
Draw a parallel: are you familiar with the problem that scares you? Perhaps, upon careful consideration, “probing” it, you will discover new ways to solve it. How do you evaluate it now, after switching your thoughts to your touch and smell? Perhaps it will no longer seem as big as before.
2. Get back to reality with flashcards
In a state of anxiety and even more so – stress, we often lose touch with ourselves. Transpersonal psychology helps to restore it. “She introduces such a concept as the spiritual dimension of personality,” says psychotherapist Bernadette Blain. “In us, the “I” and the Self are fighting for supremacy. “I” is our idea of ourselves, and the Self is our deepest essence, which exists beyond our fears. The exercise I suggest is called the Mandala of Being. It helps you connect with yourself.” You will need a partner to complete this exercise.
Cut out five paper cards and write on them in large letters: “Now”, “Future”, “Past”, “Other”, “I”. Arrange the cards on the floor in a circle: in the center – “Now”, in the north – “Future”, in the south – “Past”, in the west – “I”, in the east – “Other”.
State out loud what you want. Then – what you feel now, your reality in the present. After that, tell what beliefs and arguments underlie your reality. For example: “If I don’t pass this competition, I won’t have any more opportunities for professional growth.” Remember – when exactly in the “Past” did this fear appear?
You will feel the fear intensify. It’s natural because you give yourself permission to be afraid.
Stand in the center of your handmade mandala and breathe deeply with your eyes closed. Then open your eyes and, stepping east (towards the “Other” card), state your beliefs aloud: “If I don’t pass this competition, there will be no more opportunities for professional growth in front of me.”
How are you feeling? Bring your attention to bodily sensations. Focus on the worst. Let the exercise partner ask the question: “Is this statement really true and irrefutable?” If it is not 100% true, then it is not true at all!
It is usually at this moment that we realize that what we took for an irrefutable truth is just our belief, which has nothing to do with facts and reality.
Return to the center of the mandala. Let go of this belief, “disconnect” it from yourself. The helper asks, “How do you feel now without that belief?” Usually at this moment we feel less depressed, lighter.
Remember this state and keep this impression. Then look at your situation from that feeling. You are left with only the facts, the reality stripped of the layers of emotion generated by your beliefs.
3. Translate fear into energy of movement
Experiences that we used to consider negative can be useful! If fear, apprehension and anxiety arise in us, then we should not immediately try to drown them out, I am sure NLP master, business coach, co-host of the Mirror training Maxim Dranko: “It is better to ask yourself the question: where do they come from and what do they need ? Perhaps they draw attention to some serious risks and obstacles. I suggest facing fears in the face honestly and openly. And learn how to manage them.
Observe safety precautions: do not work with phobias and strong fears using this exercise (otherwise you can provoke a panic). You will need three sheets of paper and a pen.
The first step – Risks. Write down on sheet number 1 the answers to the question: “What is the worst thing that can happen if …?” And then substitute your project or action, because of which you are worried. Write down the worst thing that can happen on the way to your goal on a numbered list.
For example, you are going on a trip, but you are afraid. What bad things can happen on a trip? Let’s say they steal money. Write whatever comes to mind. At a certain stage, you will feel that fear intensifies. It’s natural, because you’re giving yourself permission to be afraid.
Continue the list until the fear subsides or vanishes. And when you seem to have written everything, ask yourself the question: “What can happen even worse than this?” And when you have already accurately unloaded all the possible horrors on paper, we can assume that the first stage is over.
The second step – “Reaction”. On the second sheet of paper, for each item from sheet No. 1, we write what we will do if “this” happens. Did you have all your money stolen on your trip? What will you do? At this stage, fear will arise again and may even be stronger than at the initial stage, because we are actually living a fait accompli.
For the brain, imaginary and real danger are very often the same thing: hormones are produced in the same way, the heart beats in the same way, the hair on the back of the neck stands on end and a lump rises in the throat. This is how it should be: it’s better to be a little afraid now with a sheet of paper in your hands than to rush about in real life in a panic later.
At this stage, we live not only a critical situation, but also its resolution. This is where we tell the brain, “I have a plan B.” If at some point you do not know what to write, then you have the task of learning, finding out the solution, asking.
In this case, the energy of fear is transformed into the energy of solving the problem. I collect information in advance in case of emergency: phone numbers of the police in the country where I am going, or the phone number of the embassy.
The third step – Prevention. On sheet number 3, write for each item from the first sheet, what you can do to prevent such an event. For example, do not keep all cash and all cards in one place. Etc. In this way, we direct the energy of anxiety to reduce stress, while not closing our eyes to possible dangers.
4. Straighten your shoulders and find balance
Our body is often wiser than the mind. “Sometimes simple bodily solutions work faster and no less efficiently than solutions from the mind,” comments Maxim Dranko.
Find a place where you can easily take 5-7 steps and not be distracted. Thinking about the situation that is bothering you, take the seven steps. Notice how you walk: whether the head is tilted, what the position of the shoulders is, how the hips, knees, elbows, feet move. Or record a short video on your phone. Review it, paying attention to the gait.
Usually those who are pressed by the burden of responsibility round their shoulders, as if shrinking and decreasing in volume. The shoulders cover the neck, it retracts like a turtle. Agree, not a very resourceful state.
Now try to straighten your shoulders as far back as possible and walk, thinking about your problem, in one direction. Then bring them as far forward as possible, round as much as possible and walk to the other side. Try to find the middle position in which you would be most comfortable. Walk and remember the position of the shoulders.
Assemble yourself, like a designer, together, reproducing the comfortable middle position of all our “details”
Do the same with the head: first, lower it to the maximum on the chest, and then carefully tilt it all the way back. Find an average head position that is comfortable for you. Save it and go through it again. Fine.
Take as short, mincing steps as possible in one direction, then as wide as possible in the other direction. Find an average stride size that is comfortable for you to walk. Walk and remember your condition.
Hips: imagine that you have a steel rod inside you – walk. And now, moving in the other direction, swing them in the largest amplitude. Feel for the average optimal position of the hips and try to walk. Do the same for all other parts of the body.
And finally, assemble yourself, like a designer, together, reproducing the comfortable middle position of all our “details”. Walk around in this state, thinking about your problem situation. Feel yourself in this new format, new walk, new posture, then ask yourself the question: what can I do to change the situation?
Track how the problem looks now in general: maybe the attitude towards it has changed or a solution has appeared? This is how the “body-brain” connection works, through movements, postures, launching the thoughts we need.