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If a decent person is next to you, then his offense can also be understood as an expression of love for you.
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The best relationships sometimes turn into something more problematic, and sometimes you don’t just want to discuss what is happening in your relationship, but it turns out to be directly necessary.
When dealing with what happened, do not rush to get angry: resentment against you (or yours against someone) may turn out to be just a misunderstanding. Perhaps you (or you) simply misunderstood, and there is no reason for the offense that has arisen. This means that both need to exhale and be happy as soon as possible, change the insult to something more positive.
If positive things don’t go right away, you can figure out how to behave in the future so that misunderstandings happen less often. In some cases, a positive translator will help to understand that a misunderstanding has occurred — the ability to hear a better (good) intention behind the words, a good attitude and other positive things.
Yes, the girl was offended when the young man was late for a date. Yes, now she is silent or says thorny words, but this only says that she was waiting for him, that he is not indifferent to her? If both understand this, the offense will go away.
Sometimes it seems important to talk not about a specific offense, but about a person’s tendency to be offended by you too often and without proper reason. When is the best time to start these conversations? This is possible at any stage of the relationship, but it’s best to wait and start the conversation when you’re clean and your partner is obviously wrong. In any case, it must be taken into account that an honest and direct discussion of what happened will not take place with everyone, but only with those who understand what civilized relations are. Between quality people, this will be a friendly discussion, in more difficult cases, a prepared showdown.
One of the most important conditions for a successful discussion is adherence to the format. There is a format — there is a normal discussion. There is no format — most likely, you will start discussing and quarreling. The essence of the conversation is to listen to the other side and offer to resolve issues not with grievances, but more constructively. How might this look in reality? For example, yes.
“Tell me, please, how do you see now what happened with us during the day?” What do you think about this?
“I think we were wrong together.
— Probably. Can you tell us about everything in more detail, how did you see and understand it?
— (story)
— Thank you. I have a request. I think that such misunderstandings may someday occur in our future, sometime I will be mistaken, sometime you. In this regard, I have a proposal for you: after all, we will not be offended right away, but at first we will say that this is unpleasant for us and ask us not to say or do this. Resentment is silence, it is wrong. I suggest that until we figure it out, there are no bad people, no one thinks badly of anyone else ahead of time. I would take on such an obligation — not to be offended by you until we figured it out. And you, in the future, could you make the same commitment and not be offended by me until we talk?
How to discuss their grievances with children is a special question. Well-bred children are familiar with the necessary format from childhood, in all other cases the format should be introduced gradually, through a discussion of what happened. Naturally, it is necessary to take into account age characteristics — and understanding that mothers often think that the child is still too small for such difficult conversations, and dads often have itchy hands and are convinced that a conversation has been seriously needed for a long time.
As an example, you can analyze the situation of Demian, pool, resentment
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