Contents
Yes, grandmothers love to pamper their children…
Life situations:
After visiting his grandmother, he became a «psycho» child
When his son goes to his grandparents, he comes all cocked, psychotic, he can swear, snap: he, you see, is transferred to the local grandmother’s energy. My brother endured, endured, tried to «figure it out» and «talk» — nothing helps. And I decided, together with my wife, to exclude visits to my grandmother for a year (I don’t remember how old my son was, 4 or something). Grandmother was angry and complained to everyone that “the boy is rushing to us, but his father won’t let him” (although no one was rushing), but the child is dearer to his brother than public opinion.
And in general, the brother still has to very clearly, and sometimes harshly, mark the boundaries beyond which the grandmother is not supposed to go.
My son is 2 and almost 3 months old. it so happens that when a grandmother comes, she is engaged with her son, i.e. all the time, without going away (while on ordinary days mom has a lot of things to do and she cannot sit with him and play). At this time, mother is not needed in FIG, we become deaf to mother’s requests and the woman becomes at the forefront, mother’s authority goes away. How to change the situation? How to react? Grandmother tries to do everything right, as my mother needs, BUT the son thinks differently! Help!
The solution
Who is in charge in the house?
The head of the house is dad, during his business trips — me. Grandparents — you need to respect, even if they are very unpleasant for you, dear children, for something personally. Because grandparents are our moms and dads, and someday you will become dads, and we will become grandparents. And it is not yet known what they will think of us and how they will leave to evaluate our behavior, therefore we respect our grandparents and do not educate (although you can ask not to give two kilos of sweets at once).
peaceful coexistence
About grandmothers — grandmothers — they are needed, with their pampering. It is simple (although sometimes oh so difficult) to explain to the child that he can communicate with his grandmother according to one rule, and with his parents according to others. There is no need to break and remake a grandmother — this is an integral adult personality, and just like parents, she wants the child to be good, in her own way, in a grandmother’s way. So it’s worth explaining to the child, from the point of view of long-term prospects, that the attitude towards him in adult life will be “everything” ….
From personal experience, at this age there is still not much confidence that I am a “good” mother, and it always seemed that the child loves his grandmother more, and less than me … And the child begins to manipulate this fear of his parents.