Frigidity is a vague term that actually groups together two sexual disorders that are anaphrodisia and anorgasmia, namely the absence of sexual desire and pleasure, respectively. Where do these dysfunctions come from and how to overcome them?

What is called frigidity is a sexual disorder or dysfunction that results in the inability to experience sexual desire for a period of time.

This absence of libido, which is then called anaphrodisia, is coupled with an absence of pleasure during sexual relations, and therefore also prevents reaching orgasm. We then speak of anorgasmia. It is a temporary disorder, which can affect both men and women, and which is caused by various factors, often psychological.

This frigidity can be general, that is to say that one feels no desire or sexual pleasure at all during a period, or occasional, if one has periods of desire from time to time, or although with only one partner. It also has several degrees, which range from the total absence of sensations during intercourse to very weak and moderate pleasure. The term frigidity is no longer used by doctors, because it has too many connotations as pejorative: we prefer anorgasmia and / or anaphrodisia. 

Anorgasmia (which can also affect men, although rarer) is the inability to reach orgasm. It can be primary in the case where one has never achieved jouissance, or secondary, if it is a temporary disorder but that one has already experienced orgasm in his life.

We also distinguish anorgasmia according to the practices where we take pleasure or not. Thus, anorgasmia is said to be total if the subject has never experienced an orgasm, neither alone nor in a couple. Conversely, it is said to be “couple” if one succeeds in reaching orgasm only through solo masturbation. 

Anaphrodisia is the absence or sharp decline in sexual desire, also called libido. This decrease may be due to a hormonal imbalance, such as during pregnancy, after childbirth or when taking a contraceptive. It can also be the consequence of a general ill-being, a period of depression, sadness or following an emotional shock.

After a breakup, for example, it is very common, in both men and women, to observe a drop in sexual appetite for a few weeks or months. Our desire is influenced by our emotions, so it is normal that our moods have consequences on our libido and our sexuality in general. If this decline is only temporary, there is nothing to worry about. On the other hand, if it persists and bothers you, turn to a health professional (sex therapist, etc.) who will be able to advise you and try to determine the causes of this disorder with you. 

We often associate the idea of ​​frigidity with femininity. However, as we have seen, anorgasmia can also affect men, even if there is ejaculation during intercourse. Indeed, enjoyment is not necessarily associated with ejaculation, which is only a physiological response to physical and / or mental stimulation.

Likewise, the decrease or absence of libido is a problem for both women and men, and the origins are the same, and are often psychological: depression, discomfort, shyness, but also the influence of certain treatments. medical, etc.

Finally, in no case should the absence of desire or pleasure be considered an illness.

These sexual disorders are varied, and affect nearly one in two women and one in ten men, at least at one time in their life. It is therefore a common malfunction, for which there are solutions. If you feel concerned, it is best to talk about it and not to take it for granted.

Couple anorgasmia is often easier to cure than total anorgasmia, as the problem often lies in incompatibility or a lack of dialogue between partners. Indeed, if jouissance is achieved during masturbatory stimulation, it is because the subject knows his body and knows how to achieve pleasure, but perhaps has not explained it to his partner, or that the latter does not. did not understand. Lack of experience or embarrassment can also be obstacles when having sex as a couple.

Anorgasmia, like anaphrodisia, can be treated by determining the causes. Do they come from a lack of self-confidence, from the embarrassment experienced with a new partner, from a lack of knowledge of his body? For anaphrodisia, the drop in desire can come, as we have seen, from an antidepressant treatment or hormonal contraception which is not suitable for your body. Sexual trauma or emotional shock can also be the cause of these disorders.